Keeping Up With The Calendar Girls

Pretty girls on calendar pages have been around since the 40's. In the 70's, every car mechanic had a calendar on the wall with a gal splayed out over a classic car or motorcycle. Sex sells. Especially calendars.

The 90's brought us equal treatment with the Chippendale calendars. These gorgeous scantily clad men covered the walls of most single girls' apartments. I had one friend who bought one each year for her aged grandma in a nursing home. She said that her grandma got really good care because all the nurses wanted to come by and check out the eye candy.

Lots of municipal fire departments and police have made beefcake calendars as fundraisers. There have even been a couple of films about some older women in England who did it to raise money for their local hospital.

Beautiful women have actually gotten into the business of selling themselves as calendar girls. One of the "Girls Next Door" Holly Madison does a calendar each year. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that celebrity Kim Kardashian did a calendar for 2011.

But she did two.

She did one calendar shoot as her beautiful brunette self and one as a streaky blond. That's right, she had a blond wig and did a whole photo shoot of herself as a blond. So she's got TWO calendars to sell--one if you like blonds and one if you like brunettes.

I actually can't decide how I feel about this. She's either greedy or a marketing genius. I'm not sure which. What I am sure is that the calendars will sell and make her a lot of money. Which I hope she's investing and putting away for when she's no longer young and beautiful.

People of all types appreciate beauty. As long as there are pretty girls and boys, there are going to be calendars with full color, glossy photos of them in swimsuits and less. Some are art, some are tacky. But they all give us something to look at when we schedule our busy lives.

I tend to like the ones that raise money for causes. I don't need kittens or puppies, but I always buy a couple of calendars to have around the house. I've tormented myself with lovely beach scenes depicting places I'll never have enough money to visit. I've looked at gorgeous mountain scenes of places I will never hike to or look at personally. That's no different that looking at the greased body of some person who would never give me the time of day, is it?

--Sandee Wagner

Making Something From Nothing

For some reason, the ability to make something artistic or wonderful from things that are thrown away fascinates me. There are several artists that use discarded materials to make their art. One guy carves what's left of tiny little pencils. The lead becomes his sculpture. There are lots of women who weave purses and decorative household items from candy and gum wrappers. There's a guy who takes the wood from busted down pallets and glues it together to make the most amazing jewelry boxes.

Making something out of nothing seems like genius to me. I recently learned how to oil paint. It's a fun and relaxing hobby. I paint canvases for friends and relatives. But in the back of my mind, I'm always aware that each tube of paint costs me $14. My art has overhead.

Online, some kids started a weekly movie serial called Red vs Blue. One of the most interesting things about this movie series is that these kids did it by playing the online version of Halo and screen capturing their characters as they played. They actually sit around playing the game, then do voice-overs to add the dialog and make the film funny. They are basically making comic genius from nothing. I'm sure they had to get some permissions to reuse their game stuff (their worship of Microsoft is near sickening in the opening credits, so I'm sure it was free) but it's basically something from nothing. I don't know if they make a living wage at this... or if just making it gave them some kind of business, but I know I bought 5 seasons of it on DVD.

The next thing that caught my attention was "auto tune the news". Here's a tactic where you take soundbytes from the evening news and mix them into a song. One group really started it and now all kinds of folks on the internet are doing it. If you go to www.Youtube.com and search on "autotunethenews" you'll get a bunch of songs with videos that take soundbytes and mix it into real music. Some of the songs are actually available for download on iTunes. The 'bed intruder' song is for sale and the proceeds of the song are being split with the guy from the news that they got the soundbyte from. He lives in the projects and his interview with the press spawned the song. So the producers offered to split the sales with him in exchange for his permission to use his voice in the song. Brilliant. Here's a guy in the projects whose sister is attacked and he's interviewed while the adrenaline is still pumping in his blood... he acts and sounds crazy and is caught on tape. I don't know what the payout is from the song, but it's been downloaded several thousand times. He's made some pocket change.

When an author lays their hands on the keyboard, they are basically making something from nothing. The ideas and plots that flow through their fingers into a manuscript may or may not be recycled ideas, but it's certainly a new something being created. Books and stories give countless hours of entertainment to millions of people. Very few authors make a living wage. But I'm glad every day that they sit down and do what they do so that I can be entertained.

--Sandee Wagner

Series That I Love

If you're looking for info on TV stuff, that's not the kind of series I'm talking about. Today, I'm thinking about books series that I love, and why.

My kids and I share a love for reading. Whenever they've read a really good series, they recommend it to me. I do the same for them. I've turned my kids on to really good authors and they've done the same for me.

Yesterday I finished the third book in a series recommended to me by my #2 son. When it was all said and done, I wondered, "what did he like about this?" so I asked him. He said he wasn't all that into the book's characters, but he enjoyed the system. The world and rules of magic represented by this fantasy.

That is so interesting to me. There have been so many series over the years that I've loved. And to a one, it's the characters that have engaged me. Sure, I love the worlds, or the surroundings, but it's the characters I'm willing to 'ride' through book after book.

I love Nora Roberts' Eve Dallas, the In Death series is a winner. I adore Jim Butcher's Harry Dresden books. I pine for books in David Weber's Honor Harrington series. I also loved the David Weber and John Ringo series on Prince Roger's life. I can't wait for the next Stephanie Plum book to be written by Janet Evanovich. I want to experience Egypt with Elizabeth Peters' very fine archeologist, Amelia Peabody. I feel like I'm in the National Parks with Nevada Barr's Anna Pigeon. Or on the reservation with Tony Hillerman's Navajo cops Joe Leaphorn and Jim Chee. Stephanie Laurens could not write enough books with the Cynster family featured. I know that Julia Quinn is running out of Bridgertons, but I really wish she'd create some more. I want to experience Barrayar with Miles Vorkosigan and I can't wait until Lois McMasters Bujold's next installment.

These series share one big element for me. I feel like I know the characters. The people are real to me. I talk about them like they are more than fiction. The movies are cast in my head.

I read a lot of books. I have shelves and shelves full of 'keepers'. But some books transcend just the enjoyment of reading a good story. Some novels become lifelike for me. I can only relate it to longtime soap operas' and their rabid fan base. When one of these series has a new book coming out, I'm at the bookstore with my nose pressed to the glass, saying, "open, open, OPEN!" I know that the new releases are shelved on Tuesdays and I'm there, with my hand out, waiting.

So, what does it for you? What series comes alive in your mind? Me liking a TV series is a kiss of death. The minute I decide to tune in and catch episodes of a TV series, it gets cancelled. That's why I'm not naming any TV shows that I like. I think it's easier for a TV character to seem real because they are acted by real people. It's not so much of a stretch.

But in books, well the author has to work hard to make you think a character is alive. Just ask any J.K. Rowling fan and they'll tell you that Harry Potter is a real boy.

--Sandee Wagner

How I Show Love

No, this is not going to get graphic, so put that out of your minds. I was talking to my darling daughter last night and we discussed home cooking as an expression of love. I really believe that when I cook a meal from scratch, spend my time slaving over a stove, I'm showing the recipient of that meal how much I care for them.

That brought us to discussion of the book "The Five Love Languages". I personally believe that anyone who is planning on getting married should have to read this book. I think it would save people a lot of miscommunication.

The Five Love Languages author posits that people show their love for one another in five main ways: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. Problems occur when what you EXPECT in the way of love is not how your significant other chooses to show his/her love. For instance, if you are a gift person and your lover is an acts of service person, you might misunderstand a tacit display of love.

I guess I consider cooking a big meal from scratch an act of service. If you vacuum my house, I know you love me. That act of service is huge for me.

People don't necessarily fall into ONE of those categories, some are blends of more than one type. You'll have to read the book to get all the nuances, but I think it's fundamentally revealing. When I read that book, I realized that my best friend is a Quality Time person. That is how she displays her very great capacity of love. When it comes to gift giving occasions, she's flummoxed.

All of us require all of these displays at one point in time, we each have expectations of our loved ones. What I find fascinating is how different our views on things can be. Haven't you known someone that could have a knock-down, drag out fight with their spouse and then send flowers and think it was all okay? There's where the miscommunications can occur. Unless they are both on the 'receiving gifts' portion of the love language.

I spend time plotting and planning visits to people. When I truly love them, I menu plan meals I'm going to cook for them. Sometimes it's the quality time we spend together and eating out is okay. Sometimes, the cooking is the way I try to show them how much they mean to me. It has more to do with how much THEY cook, than what I think they expect.

It's wondrous to come to a great philosophical revelation when chatting with a loved one. My daughter opened my eyes to my own behaviors in a way that I might never have seen. Thanks, chica.

--Sandee Wagner

Readers and Viewers Judge

We talk all the time about what we like... books, movies, TV. Twenty years ago, it was hard to know what other people liked. You knew what critics liked or panned, but you didn't know what sold or did well. In the past couple of decades, that has changed.

Today, we can see the statistics for box office sales versus movie cost. We can see the number of books that sell by looking at the USA Today best sellers, or the number of books ordered by looking at the New York Times best seller list.

For movies, there is a website devoted to allowing the every day fans to give a movie a thumbs-up or -down. It's called RottenTomatoes.com.

On this website, you can see the new releases and their subsequent ratings entered by viewers. You give a rating of rotten tomato/good tomato to each film you see and want to rate. Then the movie is shown with a percentage listing. When 50% of the fans give a 'like' to the film, it rolls from a graphic of a smashed tomato green against a wall, to a happy, red whole tomato. Pretty easy to discern the ratings whether you're a visual person or not.

There are a lot of things that are statistically wrong with this kind of input... only those that have access can vote. Only those that care will vote. It's kind of like American Idol. Some folks are passionate and vote every time they see a movie. Others couldn't be bothered.

My daughter and her husband use this site to decide whether to go to a movie theater and see a new release or not. We live in the heartland. Movies open on the east and west coast a couple weeks before they get to us. Rottentomatoes has a lot of votes before that movie opens in Tulsa.

I sometimes look to see what a movie gets on the website, but it's not a deciding factor for me. I will still go to the theater and pay full price if I'm excited about a film. They won't. If it gets panned on rottentomatoes, they'll wait and rent the video if they bother to see it at all. They trust the content posted by other moviegoers.

This is a fascinating trend for marketers. How can they predetermine who will use this kind of input from other viewers and combat it? How does the early 'test audience' reaction actually change the end product a movie becomes?

In a world where the Internet allows like minded people to aggregate their opinions in one place, how does the artist/director/producer control negative impacts? Or can they?

In the old days, publicists used to say that there was "no bad publicity". Even when an actor hit the pages of the paper for misbehaving, they felt like his name making the press was worth something. Today, when the media will beat something to death--an actor can't afford to be caught behaving badly. Some publicity is bad publicity. Take Mel Gibson's last two crazy rants... I'm wondering if he's having a hard time finding a lunch date in Hollywood these days?

People judge. They share their opinions. And public opinion can harm the bottom line.

It's time that everyone in Hollywood realized that you can spear yourself, or your work can crucify you. People are finding ways to share their opinions and that media is gaining traction with other viewers. We can't afford to ignore any comments or feedback on our artistic work.

--Sandee Wagner

Hormones, A Saga

I'm of the age where the body's hormones start shutting down. For me, it didn't come on slowly, it came on like a freight train.

I have tried life with and without hormone replacements. I'm so cheap that when the patches started costing me $100 a month, I stopped cold turkey. Hot flashes? No problem. I could gut it out. How long can it last? Every little old lady I know is cold all the time. Eventually the hotness stops.

In trying to lose some weight, I have discovered a new doctor in town. He's done a couple of blood panels to check my overall health before allowing me to go on with the diet (I've lost 38 lbs). Last discussion, he tells me he wants to start me on some natural hormone replacements. My comment is, "as long as they don't cost $100 a month, I'll try it."

He prescribed a cream that you have to smear on your abdomen. Yuck. I filled the prescription and with my insurance, it didn't cost much. Within a week, I was feeling much better. NO hot flashes. My skin was less dry. My hair stopped falling out. A noticeable improvement when I was expecting none. I happily went to refill the prescription for the next month and my insurance changed. The pharmacist called and told me that the cream was no longer covered and did I still want to fill the script? It would be $90.

So, no.

Back I go to the doctor. I don't mind trying these meds, but I won't take a maintenance medicine off the formulary unless it's a life threatening illness treatment. For something like this, something that I am and can live with, I won't part with that much money. So the doctor tells me that they have an alternative. Injectable pellets. They put these little hormone pellets in under your skin and they slowly absorb over 4-6 months. The price is half that of the cream if you figure they'll last 6 months. So I'm in to give it a try.

I'm having the hormone pellets put in this afternoon. I'll let you know if it makes me feel better.

--Sandee Wagner

Social Networking

We've had quite a few discussions lately in my writer's group about the benefit of social networking. On one hand, we have to explain what it is to the older ladies. On the other hand, the youngsters totally get it.

I ended up on Facebook before the maddening crowd. I had a buddy in IT who used to send me links to every new social networking site he found. He joined them all, looking for a perfect fit. Even now, he uses all kinds of mobile applications to update Facebook, Twitter and others. He likes the cutting edge technology.

Me, not so much.

I understand technology. I would open the sites and bang around, trying it out, but then I'd ask myself, "would I really use this?" and bail out. I think I frustrated him.

When Facebook finally took off, everyone had a page. I take that back. Every grown up had a page. MySpace was for teens, and Facebook was the answer for adults. Mine was relatively unused, but out there from my test run.

Then I started getting messages. People who I knew back in high school, or two or three moves ago were tracking me down. It was kind of cool. My high school set up an alumni page and shared info on meetings and social gatherings. I don't go to any, but it's nice to know that if I'm in town, I'll know where everyone is sharing a frosty adult beverage.

I use Facebook. I put pictures out there to share with friends. I post cool articles that I find. I share interesting posts that friends of mine shared with me. I don't feel at all guilty about using this public forum.

But when I was asked if I would use it to market a book, I had to stop and think. First, when you get a high number of followers on Facebook, they kind of kick you off. The big advertisers were the first ones to really figure this out. I don't know how many hits it takes, but at a certain point, Facebook wants you to get your own server, thank you very much.

That said, would an author ever hit that many followers in Facebook land? I don't know. But I think you'd have to do social networking sites AND a website to really protect your brand and hustle your wares. I think a social networking site is a good place to drum up excitement. It's kind of like hollering through a bullhorn across a crowded park. People are going to hear you and some of those people might even be interested in what you're saying.

Social networking sites allow a safe way for authors (and celebrities) to engage their fans without having their lives intruded upon. Someone could stalk you online, but it's pretty easy to block the creeps and no one has to know where you live.

For authors, who often work in their homes alone, it allows a way to engage their fans on a recreational or professional level. A NYT best selling author posted yesterday asking her fans to share their feelings about riding motorcycles. She was writing a heroine who loved a Harley and she wanted to know what it was about riding a motorcycle that excited people. She got all kinds of comments from women who had motorcycles in their garages. I'm sure all the folks in that discussion will rush to the bookstore to get that book--how could they not? They might be quoted in it. They might find their words and ideas reprised by the heroine.

I think that social networking is a great way to build traction. I think it's a wonderful format to engage fans and give them little peeks into your work in progress. It allows people to 'know' you a little. Your sense of humor, what interests you. It allows you to drive traffic to your website.

Your website needs to be the commercial portal through which the industry sees that you're a serious business person. You need to link to all your books, so you can provide the consumer with an avenue to buy your books. You need to list series in order that they should be read, and all your books in order that you wrote them. You need to have a robust biography and some professional photos. Above all else, you need to pimp your books. Sell 'em baby.

Social networking is fine, it's just not the end all for marketing. It can help, it's an adequate channel, but you still need a web presence that will be found by searches. But that's just my opinion.

--Sandee Wagner