I'm sure it's a reaction to stress. Probably the storms didn't help. But I didn't sleep at all last night. Maybe two hours of shuteye before the dogs woke me up this morning. And I couldn't even throw them in the backyard because the fence is down.
I'm a good sleeper. When I get to sleep, I stay asleep. I don't get up at 2:00 am to go to the bathroom. DH is a bad sleeper. Has no trouble getting to sleep but his pattern is to wake up several times in the wee hours. Since we got wireless internet, he at least stays in bed and surfs. I'm sure it frustrates him when I just lay there snoring. Because I'm a good sleeper.
The only time this isn't true is when I'm stressed. Apparently, the stress that thunders through my head, the wheels spinning, planning and plotting keeps me awake. When I'm really worried about something (like say, moving to the other side of the world) then my ability to FALL asleep is impacted.
Last night, as I lay in the dark watching the glowing clock display change from midnight to one to two to three, I pondered all kinds of things. I prayed. I made promises to God. I finally dropped off and when I woke up, I felt worse than when I laid down.
This not sleeping is for the birds. I have things to do today. I'm wondering if I'll be able to stay awake to do them. Can I even get behind the wheel of a car feeling like this?
When this happens to me, I think of all the people who suffer from insomnia all the time. Desperate people like Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger who made bad decisions because of their lack of ability to sleep. I'm not that far gone. I won't be taking too many prescription drugs in an effort to catch a few zzz's. But I sure understand their motives now.
--Sandee Wagner
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6 comments:
I've had insomnia since I was fifteen. If not for Ambien or Lunesta (I tend to switch off every year or two), I'd've been locked up somewhere long ago. You do know sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture?
I envy good sleepers so very much.
Sandee,
It could've been worse, you could've read one of my stories before going to bed. You always say how they keep you up. Glad it wasn't my fault this time!
I'm a light sleeper and go through cycles of insomnia. I hate it, hate how it makes me look & feel.
Stress is often the culprit but so is a change in locale. :-)
I also envy good sleepers.
Marilyn,
I know! Since DH is such a bad sleeper, I have always been cognizant of my good luck/good genes/good habits. I only get sleepless when stressed. Usually, if I eliminate the stress, I get back to normal.
I fully concur with 'better living through chemistry' but DH will NOT take a sleep aid. Big sissy.
Lynn,
You really are creeping me out with your Scary Mondays (http://lynnsomervillefiction.wordpress.com/). I only read your posts in broad daylight. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a huge coward when it comes to the haunted stuff. spw
Meg,
I get hagged when I'm not sleeping too! It really takes it out of me. Hopefully, I'll get back to normal pretty quickly. I can't afford to be all ugly on my 50th birthday!! spw
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