I have lived in Texas and Oklahoma for the better part of my adult life. It wasn't until I spent time on the East and West coasts that I realized that there are more pickup trucks per capita in Texas and Oklahoma than in anywhere else in the US.
We love our pickup trucks.
I always notice certain trucks. I notice really old, ratty work trucks that are still running long past their expected road life. And I notice shiny new, gigantic duelys and glamorous extended cab trucks with matching Fifth Wheels. For some reason, in addition to the ubiquitous gun rack, newer trucks are now sporting other less attractive decorations.
Don't get me wrong. When someone has one of those propellers that goes in the ball hitch spot? I love that kind of decor. What I don't like is the dangling ball sacks. You know what I'm talking about. You have to have seen some.
It started out a couple of years ago, someone took one of those 'net bags with two soccer balls' rear view mirror danglers and put it up under the rear bumper so it looked like testicles... Then, someone painted them blue. Someone else painted them pink. Then someone, probably in a sweat shop in China, started minting them in plastic and selling them around the world.
You can actually buy plastic dangling testicles for your pickup truck. I guess they'd work on any vehicle, but you never see them on a Jetta, only on trucks. So, I need to ask everyone out there: Is This Really Necessary? Your truck is large. It's impressive. Must it also exude testosterone and belligerence?
Take down the truck testicles. We know the driver has a pair, the truck doesn't need a set too.
--Sandee Wagner
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13 comments:
Well, the best trucks are driven by women... but only the women that can actually DRIVE a truck--not just endanger the rest of society!
LOL @ "dangling ball sacks"!! Sandee, you continue to make me fall out of my chair with laughter!! I love it!!!!
I have often wondered if a man's big shiny truck is making up for some perceived lack on his part. More chrome the more compensation. Now we have the dangling bits and sometimes they too are shiny. Makes me wonder ... couldn't they just get higher boots, shinier buckles and bigger hats and not require me to explain to my 7 year old granddaughter what those things are hanging under the bumper?
The good old boys are just being funny, Sandee.
It might not fit your (or my) sense of humor, but it does someone else's.
Either that or they're trying to see how many women they make do a second take and go, "Ewwww!"
LOL
Having come to know some true oil patch characters in last few years, I can see where they're coming from.
But, yeah. Ew.
Em, would you put balls on your truck? Really? I do notice the trucks with 'Cowgirl Up' instead of Cowboy. I look to see if they have less dings and dents and if they are kept cleaner. spw
JD, I'm glad I made your day. Now, since you live in Austin, your assignment is to count the number of trucks with dangling ball sacks on your commute home. I think it will surprise you. spw
Nancy,
I feel your pain. Trying to explain anthropomorphism to a youngster is about as easy as explaining compensating with a 'big truck'. People put a lot into customizing their vehicles. Sometimes it's art, sometimes it's just plain tacky. spw
Susan,
I'm not saying I don't understand the guy who does it, I've known a few and busted their chops for it. But think on this a moment. What woman would slap a set of plastic breasts on her front bumper?? spw
Personally, I think it's hilarious. lol But I have a very weird sense of humor at times. haha
I live in Coweta. You wouldn't beleive the number of dangling ball sacks I see around here. hehe Oh, and the 'get er done' sticker.
Just cracks me up! How much hick do ya have to advertise to the world? lmao
Ash,
I think I might have laughed the first time or two... but now, not so much. I imagine there are a ton of them in Coweta. Give us a head count on an average day, inquiring minds want to know. spw
I think all the trucks with their "sacks" MUST be falling short in that area! Seriously...
Z&K,
It has been submitted that these folks are somehow sublimating their needs/wants. I guess male enhancements come in all shapes and sizes. spw
Plastic breasts on her bumper--have mine fallen off?
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