Kink in the Neck

In the great cosmic scheme of things, I love getting older.  I don't whine when it's my birthday, nor do I lie about my age.  Each year older is a blessing and I truly embrace aging.  I'm actually looking forward to the day when I can be a crazy little old lady that says whatever comes to her mind.  I pretty much do that now, but it's not socially acceptable below about 80.

I saw a stand up comedian on cable the other night, Greg Behrendt.  He did a whole bit on aging that made me laugh until I almost wet my pants.  Language alert, this guy uses bad, BAD language, so don't click on THIS if you are easily offended.

He started out talking about waking up wrong.  Being sore from sleeping.  I can so relate.  I woke up day before yesterday and my right shoulder and neck were out of whack.  Did I do something physical?  No.  I slept on it wrong.  That's old people speak right there.  You'd think I was swinging from jungle vines like Tarzan with the way this arm and shoulder were inflamed.

The next night, I tossed and turned, unable to get to sleep because I was so sore.  Then I decided to do something about it.  I wandered into Whole Foods (formerly Wild Oats) and found the masseuse.  I signed up for a chair massage.  I showed the gal where it hurt and told her to go nuts.

If you've ever had a massage before you know that "deep tissue" is a euphemism for 'hurts like a son of a gun'.  At the time I settled down, I wondered if I was just being sensitive and crazy, but she found a knot in my back that was the size of her fist.  I had a huge charlie horse.  She worked it out, but I'm more sore today (and last night) than I was before.  I'm hoping it calms down.  I could sure use a good night's sleep.

When the cure for the ailment hurts worse than the original ailment, you've got to ask yourself if it was worth it.  At the time, getting it massaged out seemed like a great idea.  Right now, I wish I'd taken a muscle relaxer and fallen into bed.  But I actually don't have any muscle relaxers, so it wasn't really on my list of choices.

Here's hoping that the kink in my neck and shoulder goes away, and soon.  Because if I get much more of this, I will completely understand why some old people are really crotchety.

--Sandee Wagner