I Don't Live Like That

All of us have some guilty pleasures, some show we watch on TV that we're embarrassed to admit we watch. I will throw myself out there and tell you that I am addicted to Project Runway. I cannot take my eyes off it. Much like a trainwreck, I am compelled to watch those creations strutted down the runway. Burlap? Really? Did they make an elegant evening dress out of it? Yes. There's drama, conflict and construction. All of it fascinates me.

Have I ever watched a single episode of American Idol or Dancing With The Stars? I think my darling daughter in law made me watch Idol once, but I'm not that big of a fan of singing or dancing shows.

When I was clicking through the stations this morning looking for something to light on long enough to get my laundry folded, I stopped on Say Yes To The Dress. For those of you who don't know, it's a reality show based on the real life brides of an exclusive NY salon buying wedding gowns.

Who doesn't love watching a bride try to find "the dress"? I have had the opportunity to help both a daughter in law and my dearest daughter try on dresses for a couple of days until "the dress". That's the moment where you stop and say, "That's the one. Put the rest away. We'll take it." It's a magical moment. What fascinated me about this episode is that they showed a very intent bride who knew exactly what dress she wanted. When she came out, it was perfect, the absolute "this is it" moment. Then they told her how much the dress cost.

What I should say about this is that I understand there are a lot of people who live differently than I do. I drive through neighborhoods full of gorgeous over-the-top homes and wonder what those people do for a living that allows them this lifestyle. I recognize that there is a whole society of people who would be appalled at my frugal financial status. But at this moment, that point was driven like a stake through my heart.

This summer, we threw the wedding of my daughter's dreams. She and her husband were thrilled. They loved the venue, the dresses, the food, the flowers, the decor, all of it. It was EXACTLY the party they wanted. We held it at a hotel near the groom's parent's house, so they could attend easily since his father is not well. The only things we have ever spent more on than this wedding are houses and cars.

The dress on this bride in Say Yes To The Dress this morning cost more than we spent on the whole wedding for our daughter. Her parents started bargaining, they tried to talk the salon into selling them the sample that their daughter tried on, regardless, the dress was pricey.

So, when their budget for the dress eclipses my budget for the wedding, I have to ask: is it worth it? Will that one dress, that one day, give this bride a better launch into married life than any other? She was a very pretty girl. I'm very sure she would have looked tremendous in any dress she tried on. Surely, those very talented salespeople could have steered her toward a flattering fit. They KNOW things.

I really don't live like that. I don't set my sights on something expensive and think, "if I can't have that, I don't want anything." I don't moon over jewelry I can't have. I admire it. If someone gifted me with it, I would cherish it, but I don't look at something tremendously expensive and think, "it's that or nothing." I'm not sure I even know anyone who does. That attitude is outside the realm of my understanding.

I understand people work hard for their money and want to spend it in whatever way they wish... but if you're going to spend that much money on a wedding, wouldn't it be better to buy the kids a house? Wouldn't that be a better liftoff into life? I don't live like that. I'm not sure I'd want to.

--Sandee Wagner