Just When You Think It's Safe...

I'm a hugger. I'll admit it. I'm kind of 'touchy feely'. My husband has even warned me that I'm too touchy for actual workplace standards. I own that. I see that not everyone is a hugger like me.

When you move to a new area, where you have no friends and acquaintances, that falls by the wayside. You have to build new relationships to get to the level where you feel comfortable hugging or touching.

But not the Europeans. They've brought touch into brand new meetings. In the US, my friends and I would call it an 'air kiss'. You lean in, press your cheek to their cheek and make kissy noises right at their ear. Any heavily made-up woman has done this at one point or another just to save their lipstick.

The Europeans have adopted this as a greeting, like Americans do handshakes. We reach out our right hand, expecting to have it firmly shaken, and they pull your upper body forward and press cheeks, making kiss-kiss. It takes a little getting used to. Even for a touchy feely person like me.

When I finally got used to it, we met a new guy. A Norwegian.

Now, I am not good at geography. I'd have to pull up a world map to figure out where most of these folks come from... I don't even think I could find Norway on the map without a lot of searching. I know it's north, has some Arctic Circle in its borders so that might help me locate his home.

This guy is urbane. Like a Bond villain. He wears ascot ties and speaks seven different languages. His parents were ex-pats so he was raised all over the world and it shows. He enjoys conversation and fine wine. I like him. He's friendly.

When I 'went in' for my European kiss-kiss, he threw yet another kink into my routine. The Norwegians add a third kiss. That means you push your head to the left, air kiss, right, air kiss, then BACK to the left and do it again. You think that didn't throw me off my game? Well, it did.

At this point, I just want to wrap my arms around his neck and press my body up against him and surprise the snot out of him... Who makes up the rules to these social conventions? I just laughed and he explained to me that the Norwegians add in the third kiss. He smiled and did the cosmopolitan gentleman thing to ease us out of an awkward situation. He's my new best friend.

Yesterday, one of the Americans I met at the embassy ran by to pick something up at my hotel. I ran downstairs and handed off the package and was surprised when she pulled me into a hug. She wished me Merry Christmas and said she'd see me after they get back from their family Christmas celebration in the Alps. Yeah. I know! Skiing in the alps. It's close enough that a family can plan something like that from here. Go figure.

Anyway, as I'm navigating the deep waters of how to get along in North Africa, I'm finding myself struggling to figure out the conventions. When to hug, when to kiss, when to shake hands. DH told me just to shake hands and if they want to air kiss, they'll tug you in. Men never have to balance on high heels, they just don't get it. I don't want to be 'that guy' who isn't friendly, or doesn't give the correct or appropriate greetings. So, I'll continue to try to work this out. Give the Europeans the kiss-kiss, the Americans the hug, and the Norwegian guy the kiss-kiss-kiss.

Try to keep up. There'll be a quiz.

--Sandee Wagner