Anniversaries

Some anniversaries are happy occasions. My daughter's first wedding anniversary is in a week or so. Very happy memories of the leopard print wedding we threw last summer.

Other anniversaries are less joyful occasions. My brother lost his life in a car accident three years ago today. It was Friday the 13th. I've never considered myself to be superstitious, but that one stunned me.

Michael Joseph Hart was everything a little girl wants in a big brother. He was a madcap, laughing teen. He drove us around in his blue Corvair with the radio blasting. He took us to parking lot carnivals and convinced us that the rides were more fun if we screamed our heads off--even on the rides that weren't that scary.

As an adult, he was the uncle that my kids adored. He thought nothing of taking 10 kids to Toys R Us and fitting them all out with super soakers so they could have the water gun fight of their lives. He was generous with his time, his money and most of all, his love. Mike was the best of us. Not perfect. No one is. But he was a goal driven business man. He was a devoted husband and father. His family meant more to him than anything else.

His legacy is that love. He modeled it for his kids and all his nieces and nephews. My kids learned at his knee about giving care to family members and making time to visit. When he was faced with a long drive, or boring travel, he went down his phone directory and called everyone in the family to 'touch base'. Just to talk. I have two other brothers and they don't do that. But Mike did. My sisters and I used to joke about it.

We'd compare notes, "did he call you?"
"Yeah, last night, talked for 45 minutes."
"He must have had a long drive."
We'd laugh, but we felt cherished and remembered. That was a gift he gave us. I don't care if the other side of the coin was he was keeping himself awake during a boring drive. He gave me a gift with each call he made.

I'm not sure that I'm as good a sibling to my other brothers and sisters. I certainly try to be. It's hard to find time. As we get older and our nuclear family expands, we have less time to devote to each member of the family. It takes work. But Mike was devoted to our family staying in contact. He spearheaded our original family reunions.

We're having a family reunion this weekend. I'll get the chance to BE the sibling I remember Mike being to me. I'll get the chance to treat my nieces and nephews with the importance and respect they deserve. I'll get to take the time to listen and laugh and remember.

Because that's the legacy that Mike left to us. We all have to remember to honor that.
Michael Joseph Hart, I miss you.

--Sandee Wagner