Chunking Things

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Two Kinds of People

That's one of those statements that always is followed by an ellipsis. There are two kinds of people in this world...

I'm big on the ellipsis and this morning I decided to enter the realms of those who try to quantify what two types populate my space.

The two kinds of people in this world are: people who can use superglue and people who only end up gluing their fingers together.

Care to guess which group I fall into? That's right. I've spent the past hour and a half alternately soaking my hands (notice, not one but both!) in fingernail polish remover and hot soapy water. I have a couple of skin tears and a roughness that's going to require a file to wear away, but I can bend all my fingers now, so it's an improvement.

You should have seen me trying to get the fingernail polish bottle open when both of my hands were glued into claws. Gads. What a life I lead.

And obviously, as my 'people who do and don't' example states, the two items I wanted glued together are not adhered. Oh no. After gluing the floor, my fingers and everything else, the two items are blissfully separate. Thus, my luck and defined world.

There are two kinds of people in this world, people who will laugh at me and mock me, and people who, at one time or another, have glued their own fingers together.

--Sandee Wagner

8 comments:

Zack and Kimmee said...

I still need to know what you were trying to glue together.

Unknown said...

So you can mock me endlessly?

I was trying to superglue small silicone bumpers to the bottom side of handles that 'bang' against the wood beneath them. spw

Emmylee said...

You need peel and stick bumpers...

I remember as a teenager purposely gluing my fingers together so that I would know why other people got so uppity about it.

Unknown said...

The peel and stick bumpers are the ones that are jumping off. Plus the underside of the handles was not flat... thus the need to 'fill' with silicone caulk. Which is sticking marvelously well.
spw

Marilyn said...

Hm, I've never glued my fingers together (deliberately or accidentally), but I won't mock. Our kiddo once superglued his fingers to his forehead, and I got the fun of removing them while he wiggled and squalled.

I know a woman who knows a woman who superglued her husband's manparts together while he slept after finding out he had a girlfriend. Wonder who cleaned those up? Yuck.

Unknown said...

Marilyn!

I wonder if that qualified as 'assault'? Yikes! Superglue on the dangly man parts is too much to think about.

I am hopeless with the superglue. Usually it's just one or two fingers. Today, both hands crabbed together was just TOO MUCH!! spw

Unknown said...

I get to both mock and be one who has (inadvertantly) glued a hand into a claw. I believe it was just before I started high school; so old enough to know better.

TAM said...

Never had much luck with superglue holding things together. So I never use the stuff.

I am laughing with you, and at you. Never managed to glue my fingers together... but have gotten enough of the stuff on my hands to have the roughness you are dealing with.