My husband spent years in the military, so we moved a lot. For years, I've considered myself to be really flexible. Willing to embrace change. Apparently, those days are over.
DH took a temporary assignment earlier this year. It was supposed to run from March through September. About six weeks into the gig, the company told him that they wanted to make him permanent. What would it take to get him to make the move and join the team? He said a permanent job offer and move so his family (me) could join him.
So, since the end of April, we've been expecting a job offer in writing. This week, we finally got it.
I really did not realize how stressful the 'not knowing' could be. I think I am flexible enough to deal with anything--when it's a reality. But the mental game of 'what if's' is exhausting. I could not be more done with the uncertainty and inability to make plans for my future.
It is one thing to embrace change when you're given something to go on, it's another thing to be taunted with change and never actually have anything to glom onto.
I'm ready for my life to go on. If we're moving, I want to move. If we're not, I want to quit thinking about it.
DH is so laid back and calm. It makes me feel even worse when I get crazy worrying about things. Because that's the reality--I'm a worrier. I fret. I agonize. In my mind, I filter through all the possibilities and try to come up with plans for each eventuality. Then I feel like I can face the future unflinching.
Five months of 'not knowing' is enough to shake anyone's foundations. Even someone as flexible as me.
Is the transfer going through? Yes. Will we move? Yes. When? We don't know. Yet another dose of 'not knowing' that I have to swallow...
--Sandee Wagner
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Well, at least it's a smaller unknown!!
Smaller, yes. Less stressful? I don't think so. spw
Well, just imagine if you hadn't spent this summer making arrangements for all your stuff and you had to do all of that NOW! It could be worse...
It is stressful... and it sucks! I would be in your same position. I fret, too, for some of us, it's in our nature - and we can't help it. Hope we can catch up soon so I feel like I know a little more about what all went down. Will we see you and your DH soon? Are you still planning on coming here in September to watch the babies?
Emm,
You're right. I did all I could think of to do, and it's paying off by not worrying me now. And, I've got a few more things for you, by the way... spw
Z&K,
We still plan to come through on our way to CS soon (in the next two-three weeks) and I will definitely be there to care for the babies while you go to Hotlanta. In fact, Bert and I were comparing notes and I think he's going to plan to fly back to Algeria from D/FW.
If you want to catch up, call me this weekend. I'll be around.
Jake and Lexi are heading out after breakfast in the AM. spw
Are you sure I am not your long lost love child?? Why am I so much like you, Sandee? I think the same way! I am in the same boat of the waiting game. The stress of all the unknown and waiting....ERRR!! Reading this tonight made me feel like I am not alone....there is always my long lost mother....LOL! I knew something was up when my blood type matches NO ONE in my family!
HA!! JD, I think if I'd a had another kid, I would be the FIRST to know.
Truthfully, if you're like me and you're stuck in that medical limbo, then you must be close to batshit crazy. It would make me nuts going through what you've been through.
The "not knowing" will stress you much worse than any course of action. I'm convinced.
I don't even want to think about why your blood type doesn't match anyone... I'm sure you're a throwback to a previous generation... like one of your grandparents or something.
spw
I had planned to take the mirror mosaic planters and bird bath with me. My daughter has offered to keep them at her house, so it will probably come down to the 'walk through' with the packing company. If they think we're close to our max load, we'll leave 'em.
No reality shows for me. But it might be fun to document the 'ex-pat lifestyle'.
It is a slow boat, isn't it?? spw
About the mosaic things... I adore them, but Craig's not crazy about them. So if you can't take them, we should figure out how to protect them and put them in the attic with the other stuff :-(
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