My grand kids are coming to visit this week. My son, his wife and their two children will be staying with us for a few days. The kids are 2 years old, and 8 mos old.
When I realized that a crawler would be coming into my house, I started looking at my floors. And my cabinets. And everything that's accessible to a toddler. I've scrubbed all the floors and cleaned the carpets. It won't last long, I do have dogs, but it's starting out in good shape.
My house is not baby proof. Not even a little. I can guarantee that all the meds are up high, but I'm pretty sure I have cleaning agents under every sink.
I remember the days of cabinet locks, door knob covers and hooks up high. My kids were ingenious. I could hand a childproof medicine cap to my oldest son at 18 mos and he could open it up for me. He figured out how to pop the drawer locks and I spent more time putting the springs back into the plastic brackets than he did busting them out.
To a certain extent, I think that childproofing your home is a must when you have small children around all the time. But for sporadic visits, I wonder how far to go? Should I put up all the breakables? Should I collect up the cleaning products and shelve them higher? Yes. But we should also just keep an eye on the kids.
When you've got them outnumbered two to one, you ought to be able to keep them out of trouble, right? Here's hoping.
--Sandee Wagner
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The Tool Is The Problem?
My husband recently retired from the military. He had a long career and continues to be interested in all political issues that involve the military. This morning, I got an interesting nudge from a friend on Facebook. He wondered what my husband would think of this. First, I should say that my husband is very VERY conservative. This friend is very VERY liberal. They are both engaging and interested in each other's viewpoints, but they are diametrically opposed on nearly every single topic. Especially the military.
The first thing I did was read the article. Then I wondered about the actual point of the story.
See this article is all about how military commanders are complaining about PowerPoint. Now, my husband was in the service long enough that he remembers both briefing generals off pencils and paper, and briefing them off high tech gadgetry like laptops and PowerPoint.
The thing that the generals in this story are complaining about is the tool. Not the message. If you are in a brief that bores you into unconsciousness, why blame the tool by which the message is delivered and not the information itself? I really don't understand.
What I can tell you is that high ranking military men don't want their time wasted. They want concise, thoughtful updates and they want only the salient points. There is nothing wrong with this desire. It is also the subordinates who are spending the time putting together the briefing materials for those meetings. They might complain about the time they spend on PowerPoint slides, but twenty years ago, they were spending the same amount of time using pencil and paper to make the information cogent and quick. No one wants to waste a busy man's time.
I have a very dear friend who finds it easier to write a 35 page document than to give you 6 bullet points on the same topic. What she has discovered is that, for her, she has to write the 35 page document so that she can back into just the 6 most important items for discussion. This has always fascinated me. I can start with 6 bullet points and write the 35 page document. I outline and then expand. But this gal works in the opposite direction. That's the way her mind works.
When you factor in all the ways different people think, analyze and consume information, it makes the military briefings appear difficult. But it's no different now, with today's technology, than it was 30 years ago with pencils and paper. You still have to take a great deal of information and parse it down to just what the 'higher ups' need to know. It's not easy, it never was. But don't blame the tool or the format. The real problem is aggregating a huge amount of information and trying to just pass along the most important bits.
--Sandee Wagner
The first thing I did was read the article. Then I wondered about the actual point of the story.
See this article is all about how military commanders are complaining about PowerPoint. Now, my husband was in the service long enough that he remembers both briefing generals off pencils and paper, and briefing them off high tech gadgetry like laptops and PowerPoint.
The thing that the generals in this story are complaining about is the tool. Not the message. If you are in a brief that bores you into unconsciousness, why blame the tool by which the message is delivered and not the information itself? I really don't understand.
What I can tell you is that high ranking military men don't want their time wasted. They want concise, thoughtful updates and they want only the salient points. There is nothing wrong with this desire. It is also the subordinates who are spending the time putting together the briefing materials for those meetings. They might complain about the time they spend on PowerPoint slides, but twenty years ago, they were spending the same amount of time using pencil and paper to make the information cogent and quick. No one wants to waste a busy man's time.
I have a very dear friend who finds it easier to write a 35 page document than to give you 6 bullet points on the same topic. What she has discovered is that, for her, she has to write the 35 page document so that she can back into just the 6 most important items for discussion. This has always fascinated me. I can start with 6 bullet points and write the 35 page document. I outline and then expand. But this gal works in the opposite direction. That's the way her mind works.
When you factor in all the ways different people think, analyze and consume information, it makes the military briefings appear difficult. But it's no different now, with today's technology, than it was 30 years ago with pencils and paper. You still have to take a great deal of information and parse it down to just what the 'higher ups' need to know. It's not easy, it never was. But don't blame the tool or the format. The real problem is aggregating a huge amount of information and trying to just pass along the most important bits.
--Sandee Wagner
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Opposites and Their Messages
Sometimes, two very different people can pass a similar message. We see it when politicians across party lines work in a bipartisan manner to pass some legislation. Often, we experience the same message coming from two different people in different industries.
I have mentioned before that I'm an inveterate HGTV watcher. One of the shows that generally teaches me something is Holmes on Homes. This contractor goes in when a homeowner has been screwed over by their contractor and he "makes it right". He disassembles the bad workmanship and points out how it was done incorrectly, then has it done correctly by the experts or his crew. He rails on contractors who don't get the permits, don't do it right the first time, and don't stand by their work.
On a completely opposite tack, on the Lifetime network, there's Project Runway and Tim Gunn. Tim Gunn serves as the PR mentor for the designers as they work through the clothing design challenges. He walks through, checks on their work and makes recommendations. When he's concerned about them completing a task on time, or making something look fabulous from less than wonderful beginnings, he says "make it work."
I've given a lot of thought to the differences between these two men. One is a big, honkin' weightlifter of middle age and northern European extraction. He's deliberate, thoughtful and a linear thinker. The other is a tidy, effeminate and a true urban dweller. He's charming, enthusiastic and a creative thinker. Both of them encourage everyone around them to do it right and make it right.
I cannot think of two more opposite types giving the same message to a distinctly different crowd. It's funny to me that they both resonate with me. I'd like to sit down and have a beer with Mike Holmes. I'm sure I'd have to have a cosmo with Tim Gunn, but either man would be a fascinating companion. I really appreciate both their viewpoints, on their wildly disparate topics.
--Sandee Wagner
I have mentioned before that I'm an inveterate HGTV watcher. One of the shows that generally teaches me something is Holmes on Homes. This contractor goes in when a homeowner has been screwed over by their contractor and he "makes it right". He disassembles the bad workmanship and points out how it was done incorrectly, then has it done correctly by the experts or his crew. He rails on contractors who don't get the permits, don't do it right the first time, and don't stand by their work.
On a completely opposite tack, on the Lifetime network, there's Project Runway and Tim Gunn. Tim Gunn serves as the PR mentor for the designers as they work through the clothing design challenges. He walks through, checks on their work and makes recommendations. When he's concerned about them completing a task on time, or making something look fabulous from less than wonderful beginnings, he says "make it work."
I've given a lot of thought to the differences between these two men. One is a big, honkin' weightlifter of middle age and northern European extraction. He's deliberate, thoughtful and a linear thinker. The other is a tidy, effeminate and a true urban dweller. He's charming, enthusiastic and a creative thinker. Both of them encourage everyone around them to do it right and make it right.
I cannot think of two more opposite types giving the same message to a distinctly different crowd. It's funny to me that they both resonate with me. I'd like to sit down and have a beer with Mike Holmes. I'm sure I'd have to have a cosmo with Tim Gunn, but either man would be a fascinating companion. I really appreciate both their viewpoints, on their wildly disparate topics.
--Sandee Wagner
Saturday, April 24, 2010
You Never Know
I heard a business writer interviewed on NPR this morning. She's written a book on investing called The 10 Laws of Enduring Success. She was well spoken, full of anecdotes and examples. She didn't pull any punches on Wall Street or the anger of the American people over the bailouts and financial mess. When the interview was almost over, the host of the show asked her if she was insulted by her nickname, The Money Honey.
At that point, I was waiting for some feminist diatribe and a discussion on how her serious works were disparaged. It never came. She said she thought it was funny. Turns out, she knows the story behind it.
She'd been covering Wall Street and all things financial as a reporter. She got emails from a guy named Joey Ramone asking her opinion on different companies and especially on internet stocks. She didn't think he was THE Joey Ramone, but she answered his questions and they had conversations over time. Eventually, she considered him a friend as you do with correspondents.
One day, he told her he had written a poem about her. He WAS that Joey Ramone. She has a TV show where she gives the financial news and some opinion. I'm pretty sure her theme song is sung by The Ramones. They played it at the end of the interview. So, she not only knows the source of the nickname, but the intention behind it. Which was all benign and friendly.
You never know who your listeners or readers are. You don't know who you reach when you publish a book, a song or star in a TV show. You might be very important to a total stranger. That person might feel like they know you, are friends with you, or have a right to your time. Putting yourself out into public is putting yourself into a situation where you might be contacted by someone who approves or disapproves of your work.
You might get called a name. You might make a lifelong friend. You never know.
--Sandee Wagner
At that point, I was waiting for some feminist diatribe and a discussion on how her serious works were disparaged. It never came. She said she thought it was funny. Turns out, she knows the story behind it.
She'd been covering Wall Street and all things financial as a reporter. She got emails from a guy named Joey Ramone asking her opinion on different companies and especially on internet stocks. She didn't think he was THE Joey Ramone, but she answered his questions and they had conversations over time. Eventually, she considered him a friend as you do with correspondents.
One day, he told her he had written a poem about her. He WAS that Joey Ramone. She has a TV show where she gives the financial news and some opinion. I'm pretty sure her theme song is sung by The Ramones. They played it at the end of the interview. So, she not only knows the source of the nickname, but the intention behind it. Which was all benign and friendly.
You never know who your listeners or readers are. You don't know who you reach when you publish a book, a song or star in a TV show. You might be very important to a total stranger. That person might feel like they know you, are friends with you, or have a right to your time. Putting yourself out into public is putting yourself into a situation where you might be contacted by someone who approves or disapproves of your work.
You might get called a name. You might make a lifelong friend. You never know.
--Sandee Wagner
Friday, April 23, 2010
A Threat of Rain
I planted some bedding plants a week ago. I go for perennials mostly, but this year, I sprung for some annuals to liven up the front beds. For the past several days, the forecast has predicted rain. So I didn't water. I expected God to.
Yesterday, I looked at my little flowers and thought, "I'd better go ahead and water these." So I set the sprinkler up and watered both beds for a half an hour.
This morning, the sky is overcast (again!) and they are forecasting rain. I never know whether or not to believe them. Sometimes they forecast it and we don't get any, sometimes they nail it head on.
I probably didn't hurt my little flowers giving them a drink, even if it does rain this afternoon (or all weekend like they are suggesting) but the sky is pretty wide open. Doesn't look much like ominous weather. But I guess that can blow up pretty quickly anyway.
When you think about it, forecasting weather is a crapshoot. It's all based on past weather patterns and the predictions are tied to computer modeling. They know a lot of things about destructive weather; but just the regular 'blow in and rain' type clouds are largely ignored when it comes to study.
It must be a labor of love to study the weather. You're trying to give people notice to take shelter when things go very badly, or evacuate when things are life threatening. The rest of the time, the audience busts your chops if they didn't grab an umbrella and get soaked on the way to their car.
If you guess wrong often enough, people will just quit believing you and when you need them to take shelter or evacuate, they don't trust that you know what you're talking about. There are a lot of professions that use simulations and modeling to make predictions, but only a few of them have to convince large groups of people to change their behaviors.
It's a thankless task for the most part. My biggest issue with the weather forecast in Tulsa today is that the channel that runs Tulsa weather nonstop on cable (247, get it? Weather 24/7?) has graphics that cause the left hand side of the screen to be off the edge of the viewing surface on all my TVs. And the left hand column is where the current days' highs and lows are listed. So, even when I take the time to check the weather, sometimes I'm just guessing.
--Sandee Wagner
Yesterday, I looked at my little flowers and thought, "I'd better go ahead and water these." So I set the sprinkler up and watered both beds for a half an hour.
This morning, the sky is overcast (again!) and they are forecasting rain. I never know whether or not to believe them. Sometimes they forecast it and we don't get any, sometimes they nail it head on.
I probably didn't hurt my little flowers giving them a drink, even if it does rain this afternoon (or all weekend like they are suggesting) but the sky is pretty wide open. Doesn't look much like ominous weather. But I guess that can blow up pretty quickly anyway.
When you think about it, forecasting weather is a crapshoot. It's all based on past weather patterns and the predictions are tied to computer modeling. They know a lot of things about destructive weather; but just the regular 'blow in and rain' type clouds are largely ignored when it comes to study.
It must be a labor of love to study the weather. You're trying to give people notice to take shelter when things go very badly, or evacuate when things are life threatening. The rest of the time, the audience busts your chops if they didn't grab an umbrella and get soaked on the way to their car.
If you guess wrong often enough, people will just quit believing you and when you need them to take shelter or evacuate, they don't trust that you know what you're talking about. There are a lot of professions that use simulations and modeling to make predictions, but only a few of them have to convince large groups of people to change their behaviors.
It's a thankless task for the most part. My biggest issue with the weather forecast in Tulsa today is that the channel that runs Tulsa weather nonstop on cable (247, get it? Weather 24/7?) has graphics that cause the left hand side of the screen to be off the edge of the viewing surface on all my TVs. And the left hand column is where the current days' highs and lows are listed. So, even when I take the time to check the weather, sometimes I'm just guessing.
--Sandee Wagner
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Stump Grinding
Over the weekend, I helped my daughter cut out a very invasive bush that was taking over her front yard. She had cut it down before and it had come back bigger and thicker than ever. I suggested that when we cut it down this time, we dig out the stumps and cut off the roots. Hopefully, that would get it gone.
Well, we chainsawed down all the limbs and foliage. Then we started digging. We cut a few of the roots and pulled out some hunks, but what we discovered were roots the thickness of my thighs. HUGE roots connecting these bushes. No wonder it kept coming back.
After hours of mucking about trying to make some headway, my darling SIL suggested we give it up and get the stumps ground professionally. I'd just had that done in my yard and I told them what it cost me. They were enthusiastic about hiring it done. We cleaned up, got dressed in dry clothes and went out to dinner. Over drinks, we made plans for next steps. SIL would call some tree services for estimates the next day. On payday, they'd have it done. Then the hole would be filled and grass seed thrown over the bare spot. Done.
When he polled his friends on Facebook for a tree service or stump grinder they recommended in the area, he got all kinds of smart aleck responses. First they accused him of trying to hire and amputee stripper, but I digress. One of his friends recommended that instead of hiring it done, he rent a stump grinder and take it out himself.
Oh. Man. I cannot tell you what a bad idea this is. This is one of those "you think you'll save money" but you never do situations. Stump grinders are big pieces of equipment. Most are wheeled or tracked and have small motors that drive the wheels with a chain or shaft. In moist earth, I've seen them founder and get stuck. It took four men to pull the last one out of our yard. And it left trenches almost a foot deep where the wheels ate into the soil. One day's rental of a piece of large equipment is seldom less than $75. If you had 5 stumps to grind, I'd say rent a machine. And then secure the help of four of your buddies, just in case. But for one stump, in very moist ground? Hire the service. It will be cheaper for a single stump. And it will be done right and quickly.
There are lots of things that I recommend doing instead of hiring people to do. But this is not one of them. Here's hoping they get the stump ground and get on with their lives.
--Sandee Wagner
Well, we chainsawed down all the limbs and foliage. Then we started digging. We cut a few of the roots and pulled out some hunks, but what we discovered were roots the thickness of my thighs. HUGE roots connecting these bushes. No wonder it kept coming back.
After hours of mucking about trying to make some headway, my darling SIL suggested we give it up and get the stumps ground professionally. I'd just had that done in my yard and I told them what it cost me. They were enthusiastic about hiring it done. We cleaned up, got dressed in dry clothes and went out to dinner. Over drinks, we made plans for next steps. SIL would call some tree services for estimates the next day. On payday, they'd have it done. Then the hole would be filled and grass seed thrown over the bare spot. Done.
When he polled his friends on Facebook for a tree service or stump grinder they recommended in the area, he got all kinds of smart aleck responses. First they accused him of trying to hire and amputee stripper, but I digress. One of his friends recommended that instead of hiring it done, he rent a stump grinder and take it out himself.
Oh. Man. I cannot tell you what a bad idea this is. This is one of those "you think you'll save money" but you never do situations. Stump grinders are big pieces of equipment. Most are wheeled or tracked and have small motors that drive the wheels with a chain or shaft. In moist earth, I've seen them founder and get stuck. It took four men to pull the last one out of our yard. And it left trenches almost a foot deep where the wheels ate into the soil. One day's rental of a piece of large equipment is seldom less than $75. If you had 5 stumps to grind, I'd say rent a machine. And then secure the help of four of your buddies, just in case. But for one stump, in very moist ground? Hire the service. It will be cheaper for a single stump. And it will be done right and quickly.
There are lots of things that I recommend doing instead of hiring people to do. But this is not one of them. Here's hoping they get the stump ground and get on with their lives.
--Sandee Wagner
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
What IS a Reunion Anyway?
I've spent quite a while over the past two years helping to plan a family reunion. I'm actually counting on the fact that none of my family knows about this blog... Because this has been a thankless task.
My parents want very badly for our family to get together and stay close. We decided long ago that annually wouldn't work, but that we ought to all be able to make it once every five years. That doesn't seem like it would overburden someone's vacation schedule, does it? Apparently, it does.
After going to a great deal of trouble to find a 'family friendly' place (with indoor pool and waterpark) that was near enough to my retired parents to make travel easy for them, we start getting the messages. "I'll be there, but the family isn't coming." I guess I should be happy that my siblings are bothering to attend. But without their families, the crowd is, quite possibly, one third the size we were expecting.
So, where does 'family reunion' say, "leave your family at home?" I'm a little stumped. And a lot angry. And I need to get over it. I cannot control what others do, or how they prioritize things. Being upset will only make me ill and it certainly won't change what my siblings do. It never has.
At this point, the other sister who has been arranging this with me and I are on the hook for quite a bit of money. Yes, hotels require deposits when you want to rent big rooms. And they have catering minimums. And now, we don't need a big room, and we won't make our minimums. But we'll have to pay, no question about that. The big question is this: Can I go to the reunion and have a good time and not be angry with my siblings for buying solo plane tickets and leaving their families at home? Not sure.
One thing I am sure of, I am never going to plan another reunion. In a couple years, if someone mentions it, I'll just let them know that I'll show up wherever they plan it. I'm not doing this again.
My husband, who is always full of sage advice, is very realistic. He reminds me that we can't let this behavior alter our relationships with family. I do believe that it will be hard not to.
--Sandee Wagner
My parents want very badly for our family to get together and stay close. We decided long ago that annually wouldn't work, but that we ought to all be able to make it once every five years. That doesn't seem like it would overburden someone's vacation schedule, does it? Apparently, it does.
After going to a great deal of trouble to find a 'family friendly' place (with indoor pool and waterpark) that was near enough to my retired parents to make travel easy for them, we start getting the messages. "I'll be there, but the family isn't coming." I guess I should be happy that my siblings are bothering to attend. But without their families, the crowd is, quite possibly, one third the size we were expecting.
So, where does 'family reunion' say, "leave your family at home?" I'm a little stumped. And a lot angry. And I need to get over it. I cannot control what others do, or how they prioritize things. Being upset will only make me ill and it certainly won't change what my siblings do. It never has.
At this point, the other sister who has been arranging this with me and I are on the hook for quite a bit of money. Yes, hotels require deposits when you want to rent big rooms. And they have catering minimums. And now, we don't need a big room, and we won't make our minimums. But we'll have to pay, no question about that. The big question is this: Can I go to the reunion and have a good time and not be angry with my siblings for buying solo plane tickets and leaving their families at home? Not sure.
One thing I am sure of, I am never going to plan another reunion. In a couple years, if someone mentions it, I'll just let them know that I'll show up wherever they plan it. I'm not doing this again.
My husband, who is always full of sage advice, is very realistic. He reminds me that we can't let this behavior alter our relationships with family. I do believe that it will be hard not to.
--Sandee Wagner
Monday, April 19, 2010
Avocados For Breakfast
I lived in Southern California for two years. In the small hilly neighborhood where we lived, there were several corporate farms. In season, we could get fresh strawberries and avocados on the side of the road, dirt cheap. They sold off the tiny avocados, that they wouldn't sell to stores, in huge bundles for a couple bucks. More work, but way cheaper.
When I could get twenty small Haas for less than five bucks, I got into some interesting habits. Don't get me wrong, I made a lot of homemade guacamole. I'm good at that. But also, I started eating avocado for breakfast.
I'm a constant dieter. My whole life, I have been a few pounds overweight. Lately, more than a few. I've tried all kinds of diets and eating plans and I've come to the realization that I'm kind of a sugar addict or carbohydrate abuser. So I'm trying to cut down on ingesting those, and increase my intake of vegetables.
I'm at the point in my life when breakfast is not a social occasion where I spend a few harried minutes feeding a brood. Now, I sit quietly for a half an hour, drinking my hot tea and making myself happy. And one of the things that makes me happy is a nice avocado.
I slit them open, pop out the seed with a sharp knife, salt it and scoop it out with a spoon. Breakfast is done, I'm happy and only two pieces of silverware are dirty. It's a win-win situation in my home. I'm sure someone out there is shaking his head about the natural fat in an avocado and it's affect on my cholesterol. So, I'll assure you that my cholesterol is normal, has never been high, and that is not my health worry.
Managing to replace some kind of processed food with a natural fruit or vegetable is something I'll take any day. It's a good breakfast.
--Sandee Wagner
When I could get twenty small Haas for less than five bucks, I got into some interesting habits. Don't get me wrong, I made a lot of homemade guacamole. I'm good at that. But also, I started eating avocado for breakfast.
I'm a constant dieter. My whole life, I have been a few pounds overweight. Lately, more than a few. I've tried all kinds of diets and eating plans and I've come to the realization that I'm kind of a sugar addict or carbohydrate abuser. So I'm trying to cut down on ingesting those, and increase my intake of vegetables.
I'm at the point in my life when breakfast is not a social occasion where I spend a few harried minutes feeding a brood. Now, I sit quietly for a half an hour, drinking my hot tea and making myself happy. And one of the things that makes me happy is a nice avocado.
I slit them open, pop out the seed with a sharp knife, salt it and scoop it out with a spoon. Breakfast is done, I'm happy and only two pieces of silverware are dirty. It's a win-win situation in my home. I'm sure someone out there is shaking his head about the natural fat in an avocado and it's affect on my cholesterol. So, I'll assure you that my cholesterol is normal, has never been high, and that is not my health worry.
Managing to replace some kind of processed food with a natural fruit or vegetable is something I'll take any day. It's a good breakfast.
--Sandee Wagner
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Roots
When I bought my house in Tulsa, there was a huge shrub right in the middle of the lawn. I wanted it gone. My husband, who had to mow around it, wanted it gone. We decided to cut it down and dig out the stump.
On a rainy day, I convinced my husband that it would be easier to get it out if the ground around it was all wet. It was actually easier to dig... but what a mess. We spent the better part of a whole weekend hacking through roots and tugging and pulling. We bent a metal pry bar trying to break the suction under the stupid stump.
But we finally got it out, took it to the green waste and said good bye to the problematic shrub. Each time I look out the window, I'm glad that it's gone.
Today, my daughter asked for some help with her new home's plantings. I took her to the nursery and showed her how to read the tags on the plants, showed her how to plan the textures, colors and heights. We bought some plants, tools and mulch. Then we went to her home. It began to drizzle.
We planted the new plants and laid some fabric down and mulched. It looked a lot better already. Then DD pointed to a big bush and said, "I want that gone." The flashback was tremendous. I looked at it, imagined mowing around it and nodded. I got the chainsaw. We cut down the limbs and began the harrowing job of digging out the roots. Hours later, covered with mud from head to toe, my DD looked at me and said, "You know, I don't mind hiring someone to grind the stump."
I was not at all surprised. It was way too much work. I told her I thought it was a great idea and that we had done the hard part cutting the thing down. Then I made her husband promise to call a stump grinder for an estimate the next day. Done. Gone. It's all good.
--Sandee Wagner
On a rainy day, I convinced my husband that it would be easier to get it out if the ground around it was all wet. It was actually easier to dig... but what a mess. We spent the better part of a whole weekend hacking through roots and tugging and pulling. We bent a metal pry bar trying to break the suction under the stupid stump.
But we finally got it out, took it to the green waste and said good bye to the problematic shrub. Each time I look out the window, I'm glad that it's gone.
Today, my daughter asked for some help with her new home's plantings. I took her to the nursery and showed her how to read the tags on the plants, showed her how to plan the textures, colors and heights. We bought some plants, tools and mulch. Then we went to her home. It began to drizzle.
We planted the new plants and laid some fabric down and mulched. It looked a lot better already. Then DD pointed to a big bush and said, "I want that gone." The flashback was tremendous. I looked at it, imagined mowing around it and nodded. I got the chainsaw. We cut down the limbs and began the harrowing job of digging out the roots. Hours later, covered with mud from head to toe, my DD looked at me and said, "You know, I don't mind hiring someone to grind the stump."
I was not at all surprised. It was way too much work. I told her I thought it was a great idea and that we had done the hard part cutting the thing down. Then I made her husband promise to call a stump grinder for an estimate the next day. Done. Gone. It's all good.
--Sandee Wagner
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Does That Really Matter?
I watch a lot of HGTV. When I want the TV on for company or noise, I generally tune in. I've watched a lot of the shows, but I've also just let it roll past the corner of my eye while I did something else. The shows that are the hardest on me are the first time home buyers.
I've bought and sold a lot of houses. With a spouse in the military, you move a lot and learn to do it often. Home ownership is important to DH and myself, so we've bought when we knew we would only be in the area for four years. Staying a short time in a property gives you a different perspective. First, you don't expect to double your money or make a killing. Second, you are careful about the amount of money you sink into the property.
Watching the first time homebuyers walk through properties and wax poetic about the paint colors and other surfaces is annoying. Can they really be that stupid? Paint is the easiest thing to change. You have to look past the cosmetics and see the bone structure.
Lately the big whine is "but I really wanted stainless steel appliances!" Really? In my day, I wanted WORKING appliances. If you go modest, you can change all the appliances in your kitchen for about $2800 and get that stainless steel look you so desire, moron. Why would someone make a selection on a home where they are going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars based on the finish of the appliances? Or the countertops? Really, even very nice granite and marble can be had at $50 a square foot. Take some measurements, do the math and bid slightly lower on the house. Then put in what you want.
The cosmetic choices in a house fall so far below what you should be looking at.... the structure, foundation, the major components like roof, heating system, plumbing and electrical. Those are the items that will cost you a small fortune if they need to be replaced. There are also things that cannot be changed about a house--location, school system, whether or not the building codes allow additions or second stories added.
A friend of mine recently told me that to get into the neighborhood where she wanted to live, she was going to buy a 'livable fixer'. That is totally my goal. Find something you can live with, and beautify it to your standards. Everyone has a different aesthetic. Everyone has something that is a 'deal breaker' for them. You can't make everyone happy no matter how good your taste is.
When you look at a home, you have to look past the surfaces and to the structure, the layout and the location. I'm not saying everyone should buy a fixer. Some people aren't handy and need to buy properties that have been updated by someone who IS handy. But when you're shopping for a new home, you should be smart enough to know that dreadful wallpaper can be stripped. Paint can be slapped up. And you can clean up and get rid of most gross stuff in an overgrown yard. Tender loving care to a downtrodden property will actually raise property values for everyone on the block.
Try to get past the shiny appliances people. Look for the real value in your real estate.
--Sandee Wagner
I've bought and sold a lot of houses. With a spouse in the military, you move a lot and learn to do it often. Home ownership is important to DH and myself, so we've bought when we knew we would only be in the area for four years. Staying a short time in a property gives you a different perspective. First, you don't expect to double your money or make a killing. Second, you are careful about the amount of money you sink into the property.
Watching the first time homebuyers walk through properties and wax poetic about the paint colors and other surfaces is annoying. Can they really be that stupid? Paint is the easiest thing to change. You have to look past the cosmetics and see the bone structure.
Lately the big whine is "but I really wanted stainless steel appliances!" Really? In my day, I wanted WORKING appliances. If you go modest, you can change all the appliances in your kitchen for about $2800 and get that stainless steel look you so desire, moron. Why would someone make a selection on a home where they are going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars based on the finish of the appliances? Or the countertops? Really, even very nice granite and marble can be had at $50 a square foot. Take some measurements, do the math and bid slightly lower on the house. Then put in what you want.
The cosmetic choices in a house fall so far below what you should be looking at.... the structure, foundation, the major components like roof, heating system, plumbing and electrical. Those are the items that will cost you a small fortune if they need to be replaced. There are also things that cannot be changed about a house--location, school system, whether or not the building codes allow additions or second stories added.
A friend of mine recently told me that to get into the neighborhood where she wanted to live, she was going to buy a 'livable fixer'. That is totally my goal. Find something you can live with, and beautify it to your standards. Everyone has a different aesthetic. Everyone has something that is a 'deal breaker' for them. You can't make everyone happy no matter how good your taste is.
When you look at a home, you have to look past the surfaces and to the structure, the layout and the location. I'm not saying everyone should buy a fixer. Some people aren't handy and need to buy properties that have been updated by someone who IS handy. But when you're shopping for a new home, you should be smart enough to know that dreadful wallpaper can be stripped. Paint can be slapped up. And you can clean up and get rid of most gross stuff in an overgrown yard. Tender loving care to a downtrodden property will actually raise property values for everyone on the block.
Try to get past the shiny appliances people. Look for the real value in your real estate.
--Sandee Wagner
Friday, April 16, 2010
Beauty and Its Iterations
My family is full of pale skinned redheads. It really came as no surprise to me that my sons gravitated toward blonds and brunettes. My theory is that a man is attracted to women that are unlike his family group. I'm pretty sure that's something that's hardwired in to keep us from interbreeding.
It never surprised me when my son waxed poetic about brunettes, but it always made me cringe when he started in on those with highlights. When the craze for big stripes of hair color ascended in the fashion world, my son was graduated from college, and dating looking for a mate. He referred to women with those big stripes of highlights as 'self loathing brunettes'. And he mainly avoided dating them.
I've always thought of hair as such a transient feature. If you want to dye it pink, do it. You can cut it off at the roots and it will grow back. If you have chemo and loose it all, it might grow back curly. I would generally try anything with my hair because it grows so fast that even if I don't like the outcome, in two weeks it will be different.
Most of the hair color I know comes about when women are trying to camouflage gray. We do all kinds of high lighting and low lighting and rinses to try and hide the gray hairs that begin to sprinkle in. While I was working full time, I colored my hair every two months, like clockwork. When I landed out of the job market for a while, I decided I couldn't keep up with the expense, so I stopped. The gray hair that's coming in on my head is not only gray, it's curly. More kink and curl than I've ever had in my life. All of a sudden, my hair has body and wave. Uncanny. When I colored my hair, it was an attempt to even the playing field in a job market filled with youngsters. I think there is a lot of ageism in the workplace.
My son, on the other hand, takes hair coloring as some kind of self judgment. If a girl does something that drastic with her hair, then she's really not comfortable in her own skin. To a certain extent, I believe that might be true. When I see a little Asian girl wearing blue contacts and dying her hair blond, I often wonder who she's fooling? But when a brunette just puts in highlights? Self loathing? I don't think so.
The wide stripes of color that have thankfully been replaced with a different hair trend only made one thing happen in my brain. Whenever I saw someone with wide stripes of color on their hair, light dark or in between, the circus theme music started playing in my mind. It always seemed like circus stripes to me.
My son went on to marry a darling brunette. She doesn't fuss much with her hair and is very natural. He loves her truly and I think they were made for each other. I just hope she never decides she wants a change and comes home with highlights.
--Sandee Wagner
It never surprised me when my son waxed poetic about brunettes, but it always made me cringe when he started in on those with highlights. When the craze for big stripes of hair color ascended in the fashion world, my son was graduated from college, and dating looking for a mate. He referred to women with those big stripes of highlights as 'self loathing brunettes'. And he mainly avoided dating them.
I've always thought of hair as such a transient feature. If you want to dye it pink, do it. You can cut it off at the roots and it will grow back. If you have chemo and loose it all, it might grow back curly. I would generally try anything with my hair because it grows so fast that even if I don't like the outcome, in two weeks it will be different.
Most of the hair color I know comes about when women are trying to camouflage gray. We do all kinds of high lighting and low lighting and rinses to try and hide the gray hairs that begin to sprinkle in. While I was working full time, I colored my hair every two months, like clockwork. When I landed out of the job market for a while, I decided I couldn't keep up with the expense, so I stopped. The gray hair that's coming in on my head is not only gray, it's curly. More kink and curl than I've ever had in my life. All of a sudden, my hair has body and wave. Uncanny. When I colored my hair, it was an attempt to even the playing field in a job market filled with youngsters. I think there is a lot of ageism in the workplace.
My son, on the other hand, takes hair coloring as some kind of self judgment. If a girl does something that drastic with her hair, then she's really not comfortable in her own skin. To a certain extent, I believe that might be true. When I see a little Asian girl wearing blue contacts and dying her hair blond, I often wonder who she's fooling? But when a brunette just puts in highlights? Self loathing? I don't think so.
The wide stripes of color that have thankfully been replaced with a different hair trend only made one thing happen in my brain. Whenever I saw someone with wide stripes of color on their hair, light dark or in between, the circus theme music started playing in my mind. It always seemed like circus stripes to me.
My son went on to marry a darling brunette. She doesn't fuss much with her hair and is very natural. He loves her truly and I think they were made for each other. I just hope she never decides she wants a change and comes home with highlights.
--Sandee Wagner
Thursday, April 15, 2010
DVDs and the Online Delivery System
A few years ago, my DH and I bit the bullet and signed up for an online movie rental program. There's really only two, so keeping it secret seems pointless. We signed up with Blockbuster and we've been pretty happy until recently.
The first issue we had was really simple. My husband put a concert DVD into our queue. You know how most concert DVDs are two disk sets? One disk has the actual concert and the other disk has the extras. When we received our movie, it didn't contain both disks... just the second one. So, the extras without the actual concert. Apparently there's a "very long wait" on the concert. Who knew it was even separated?
The second issue arose when I tried to rent a movie that was a 'made for TV' drama. There have been a couple of movies by that same name produced. I have received three, count 'em, THREE different movies from Blockbuster and all of them have the right description and stars named on the sleeve, but when the DVD is inserted, it's the wrong movie. Very frustrating.
Their customer support has been reasonable, but what can they say? Sorry we sent you the wrong movie, we'll send out the right movie, right away. Then, I get the second and third incorrectly labeled movies. I'm so over that film!
It raises some questions: 1) Would the selection at the local store include the films we have in our queue? We never saw a lot of these movies at the local store when that was the way we got our cinema fixes. 2) If we got a mislabeled film from the store, would they be able to correct it quickly or more appropriately?
My son has recommended ditching Blockbuster and using the "On Demand" movies available on cable TV, but once again, these are pretty limited to current releases. Some of these older films would not be available that way.
So, what is the best way to rent movies these days? I'm wondering if I was 'streaming' the film from an online site and got the wrong film, if they'd be able to correct quickly?? Seems like there'd be less labeling issues. I'm not sure.
I just know that I am no longer amused at the difficulties involved in getting to see my movie.
--Sandee Wagner
The first issue we had was really simple. My husband put a concert DVD into our queue. You know how most concert DVDs are two disk sets? One disk has the actual concert and the other disk has the extras. When we received our movie, it didn't contain both disks... just the second one. So, the extras without the actual concert. Apparently there's a "very long wait" on the concert. Who knew it was even separated?
The second issue arose when I tried to rent a movie that was a 'made for TV' drama. There have been a couple of movies by that same name produced. I have received three, count 'em, THREE different movies from Blockbuster and all of them have the right description and stars named on the sleeve, but when the DVD is inserted, it's the wrong movie. Very frustrating.
Their customer support has been reasonable, but what can they say? Sorry we sent you the wrong movie, we'll send out the right movie, right away. Then, I get the second and third incorrectly labeled movies. I'm so over that film!
It raises some questions: 1) Would the selection at the local store include the films we have in our queue? We never saw a lot of these movies at the local store when that was the way we got our cinema fixes. 2) If we got a mislabeled film from the store, would they be able to correct it quickly or more appropriately?
My son has recommended ditching Blockbuster and using the "On Demand" movies available on cable TV, but once again, these are pretty limited to current releases. Some of these older films would not be available that way.
So, what is the best way to rent movies these days? I'm wondering if I was 'streaming' the film from an online site and got the wrong film, if they'd be able to correct quickly?? Seems like there'd be less labeling issues. I'm not sure.
I just know that I am no longer amused at the difficulties involved in getting to see my movie.
--Sandee Wagner
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Organic Gardening
I'm doing my bit for recycling and organic gardening. Even if it kills me.
A year ago, a friend of mine who homeschools four children, waxed poetic about her backyard garden. I told her that my flower beds were overgrown and that I was dreading getting them back in shape. So much grass to pull and weeds to eradicate! She suggested wet newspapers. She said that if you soak newspapers in water and layer the ground around your plants, then mulch on top of the newspaper, it will keep weeds from coming through.
This is an organic gardening tip that I can use... but I've got a lot of flower beds that have been 'let go' and it's gonna take a bunch of newspapers. So, I sent out the word to my writer friends, please save your newspapers. I offered to pick them up at their homes, or they could bring them to the meetings and I'd get them there. The ladies really stepped up to the plate. I've got a lot of newspapers.
Yesterday, I went to the store and bought a bunch of plants and 10 bags of mulch. Then I started in my front flower beds and planted the little flowers. Then I layered the newspapers around them. You have to use several sections and overlap them. Then I wet down the newspapers until they were sodden and covered them with mulch.
The front beds look a lot better. I hope the little plants all survive my handling. I'm not the most graceful gardener. I think I stepped on a couple as I was moving in and out of the beds with my hands full.
I will need roughly 100 times more newspaper to continue the process into the back yard. I'm going to have to hit up some other sources to find more newspapers to recycle this way.
--Sandee Wagner
A year ago, a friend of mine who homeschools four children, waxed poetic about her backyard garden. I told her that my flower beds were overgrown and that I was dreading getting them back in shape. So much grass to pull and weeds to eradicate! She suggested wet newspapers. She said that if you soak newspapers in water and layer the ground around your plants, then mulch on top of the newspaper, it will keep weeds from coming through.
This is an organic gardening tip that I can use... but I've got a lot of flower beds that have been 'let go' and it's gonna take a bunch of newspapers. So, I sent out the word to my writer friends, please save your newspapers. I offered to pick them up at their homes, or they could bring them to the meetings and I'd get them there. The ladies really stepped up to the plate. I've got a lot of newspapers.
Yesterday, I went to the store and bought a bunch of plants and 10 bags of mulch. Then I started in my front flower beds and planted the little flowers. Then I layered the newspapers around them. You have to use several sections and overlap them. Then I wet down the newspapers until they were sodden and covered them with mulch.
The front beds look a lot better. I hope the little plants all survive my handling. I'm not the most graceful gardener. I think I stepped on a couple as I was moving in and out of the beds with my hands full.
I will need roughly 100 times more newspaper to continue the process into the back yard. I'm going to have to hit up some other sources to find more newspapers to recycle this way.
--Sandee Wagner
Monday, April 12, 2010
All my near misses...
All my near misses happen in convenience store parking lots. I'm not sure if the proximity to beer and smokes makes people lose all their manners, or whether the lack of same has them jonesing so bad they don't pay attention.
The only thing I buy at convenience stores is gas (pay at the pump) and the occasional road soda. Mostly, I pull in, gas up and leave. Since I don't put a lot of miles on my car, I don't gas up every week. Let's call my time at the convenience store two trips per month. That means two near death experiences a month.
I drive a small car, so I'm used to driving defensively and watching out for those that can't see me. In the convenience store parking lot, it's not that they CAN'T see me, it's that they DON'T see me.
Just like at an airport, the risk is when you are taking off and landing. The moment you pull into the lot and the moment you are trying to leave the gas pump. For some reason, crazy people will try to rear end you and sideswipe you when you're trying to get out of the way and free the pump up for the next person. It's the danger that thrills adrenaline junkies nationwide.
I don't care for the feeling that all my defensive driving techniques have to be engaged in the 20 yards between the street and the pump and back. It seems like when you get off the road where people are traveling at warp speeds, you should be safer, not more exposed. Even with blinker on, if you watch the rearview mirror, there are times when slowing down to pull into the parking lot becomes a game of "will he or won't he rear end me?" Not my favorite game to bet on.
Once I get my gas, I play dodge the vehicle while the "laws of gross tonnage" cycle through my brain. I used to drive old beat up land yachts. In a car like that, you don't worry too much. Everyone else has more money invested in their ride and they tend to drive defensively around YOU. You can pull out with aplomb knowing that that Mercedes will slam on their very well engineered German brakes to avoid hitting your clunker. Nowadays, I'm driving a cheap plastic car. A small four cylinder. It does not have the 'get up and go' required to dodge the big boys. So I wait my chance. I watch for back up lights and avoid encounters where my car will come out the loser.
A few blocks from my home, they broke ground on a big new convenience store. On the one hand, it's close and convenient. On the other hand, they say most accidents happen within five miles of your home. It may be that my time is up!
--Sandee Wagner
The only thing I buy at convenience stores is gas (pay at the pump) and the occasional road soda. Mostly, I pull in, gas up and leave. Since I don't put a lot of miles on my car, I don't gas up every week. Let's call my time at the convenience store two trips per month. That means two near death experiences a month.
I drive a small car, so I'm used to driving defensively and watching out for those that can't see me. In the convenience store parking lot, it's not that they CAN'T see me, it's that they DON'T see me.
Just like at an airport, the risk is when you are taking off and landing. The moment you pull into the lot and the moment you are trying to leave the gas pump. For some reason, crazy people will try to rear end you and sideswipe you when you're trying to get out of the way and free the pump up for the next person. It's the danger that thrills adrenaline junkies nationwide.
I don't care for the feeling that all my defensive driving techniques have to be engaged in the 20 yards between the street and the pump and back. It seems like when you get off the road where people are traveling at warp speeds, you should be safer, not more exposed. Even with blinker on, if you watch the rearview mirror, there are times when slowing down to pull into the parking lot becomes a game of "will he or won't he rear end me?" Not my favorite game to bet on.
Once I get my gas, I play dodge the vehicle while the "laws of gross tonnage" cycle through my brain. I used to drive old beat up land yachts. In a car like that, you don't worry too much. Everyone else has more money invested in their ride and they tend to drive defensively around YOU. You can pull out with aplomb knowing that that Mercedes will slam on their very well engineered German brakes to avoid hitting your clunker. Nowadays, I'm driving a cheap plastic car. A small four cylinder. It does not have the 'get up and go' required to dodge the big boys. So I wait my chance. I watch for back up lights and avoid encounters where my car will come out the loser.
A few blocks from my home, they broke ground on a big new convenience store. On the one hand, it's close and convenient. On the other hand, they say most accidents happen within five miles of your home. It may be that my time is up!
--Sandee Wagner
Sunday, April 11, 2010
MonsterQuest
Yet another show that I can't seem to take my eyes off. MonsterQuest on the History channel has some kind of marathon going. I've seen a show on Cattle Mutilations where they went back to reports from the 70's. Some ranchers are convinced it's aliens or Satan worshipers doing some kind of ritual sacrifice. Regardless, the forensics experts found some interesting clues on those attacks that can't be attributed to predators. They've found some sterilized soil around the carcasses, where grass won't grow for years after the dead animal is gone. One investigator is guessing that the deaths are lightening strikes.
Who doesn't remember the movie Sneakers, where Mother (played by Dan Akroyd), the resident conspiracy theorist, announces that "cattle mutilations are up"? Although the odd happening hits the news, I guess I always thought it was like the crop circles--some kind of hoax that would be debunked. Apparently not. There are still random acts of cattle, horse and large animal deaths that cannot be traced to known predators. And there are people who are making a living researching the incidents.
Next, MonsterQuest went to Florida looking for a sea monster. It's pretty interesting. Some guys got video tape of something that's not a manatee or a gator... makes you wonder what it is.
I love a story where someone with a passion is looking for the unknown. It's a big world out there. I'd rather believe that we don't know all the things it has in store.
--Sandee Wagner
Who doesn't remember the movie Sneakers, where Mother (played by Dan Akroyd), the resident conspiracy theorist, announces that "cattle mutilations are up"? Although the odd happening hits the news, I guess I always thought it was like the crop circles--some kind of hoax that would be debunked. Apparently not. There are still random acts of cattle, horse and large animal deaths that cannot be traced to known predators. And there are people who are making a living researching the incidents.
Next, MonsterQuest went to Florida looking for a sea monster. It's pretty interesting. Some guys got video tape of something that's not a manatee or a gator... makes you wonder what it is.
I love a story where someone with a passion is looking for the unknown. It's a big world out there. I'd rather believe that we don't know all the things it has in store.
--Sandee Wagner
Saturday, April 10, 2010
People Behaving Badly
For some reason, my TV settled on the E! network yesterday. While I was doing some minor home repairs, I saw two reality shows out of the corner of my eye. One was a dreadful show called Jerseylicious.
This show is like a trainwreck. You can hardly take your eyes off it. The short piece I saw showed a married couple going to Cape May for a 'romantic getaway'. Right inside the city limits, the guido driving said he hated the town. Then the harpy started in on how she just suggested it and he should have said he didn't like it. She'd just never been to Cape May before. Then she started on him about pulling over so they could sightsee or shop. He pulled into a parking lot where a bunch of antique cars and motorcycles were parked for a show. Then the shrieking began. It was horrifying. So I turned off the TV and put on an audiobook.
After I went to bed, I switched on the TV again. Still on E!
This time the reality show was Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I'm not really sure how these people got to be celebrities, but folks are watching. What amazed me about this group is that they are a real family allowing all their personal life to be played out before a TV audience. I don't get it.
It's really "Beautiful People Behaving Badly". I really think that all the drama and conflict might be real in a family that size, just somehow escalated for the titillation factor. So, it begs the question: how much money can they be paid to make this worthwhile?
I used to ask the same question about people who allowed their dirty laundry to be aired on the Jerry Springer show. It couldn't just be a trip to NYC, could it? What would make someone go on that show and just let it all hang out?
The rise in reality TV is all about money. With no scripts or scriptwriters, the production costs are reduced enormously. When you factor in no sets, it's all shot in their homes or in public, then a reality TV show is a cost saving bonanza in Hollywood.
I feel bad for the scriptwriters. I think there must be a bunch of writers in Hollywood clenching their teeth and hoping that the American public will get tired of the view into people behaving badly and pine for the days of written dramas. I know I am mourning their loss.
--Sandee Wagner
This show is like a trainwreck. You can hardly take your eyes off it. The short piece I saw showed a married couple going to Cape May for a 'romantic getaway'. Right inside the city limits, the guido driving said he hated the town. Then the harpy started in on how she just suggested it and he should have said he didn't like it. She'd just never been to Cape May before. Then she started on him about pulling over so they could sightsee or shop. He pulled into a parking lot where a bunch of antique cars and motorcycles were parked for a show. Then the shrieking began. It was horrifying. So I turned off the TV and put on an audiobook.
After I went to bed, I switched on the TV again. Still on E!
This time the reality show was Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I'm not really sure how these people got to be celebrities, but folks are watching. What amazed me about this group is that they are a real family allowing all their personal life to be played out before a TV audience. I don't get it.
It's really "Beautiful People Behaving Badly". I really think that all the drama and conflict might be real in a family that size, just somehow escalated for the titillation factor. So, it begs the question: how much money can they be paid to make this worthwhile?
I used to ask the same question about people who allowed their dirty laundry to be aired on the Jerry Springer show. It couldn't just be a trip to NYC, could it? What would make someone go on that show and just let it all hang out?
The rise in reality TV is all about money. With no scripts or scriptwriters, the production costs are reduced enormously. When you factor in no sets, it's all shot in their homes or in public, then a reality TV show is a cost saving bonanza in Hollywood.
I feel bad for the scriptwriters. I think there must be a bunch of writers in Hollywood clenching their teeth and hoping that the American public will get tired of the view into people behaving badly and pine for the days of written dramas. I know I am mourning their loss.
--Sandee Wagner
Friday, April 9, 2010
Reality TV
For several years, I wondered about the popularity of reality TV. Survivor results were reported on the news, like well, news. I didn't watch American Idol. I could care less who raced across the globe or did crazy scary things. It never appealed to me. I've always said that I'd rather read a good book than watch bad TV.
All that changed for me a couple years ago. One of my friends at work lamented the fact that, having cut off her cable as a cost saving measure, she'd be unable to watch her favorite reality show's second season. Without knowing what the show was, I told her she could watch it at my house each week.
I think it never dawned on me that she'd take me up on the offer. The first week, I was surprised when the doorbell rang, but I gamely tuned in the first episode of the second season of Project Runway. In this show, you follow a bunch of wannabe designers as they do one day challenges, trying to make haute couture out of whatever the judges deem possible. Sometimes they are to be 'inspired' by architecture, museum exhibits or the circus. Sometimes they are to find all their 'materials' in a hardware store. Always, what they present walking down the runway has to impress real designers and industry mavens.
At first, it was about the construction. My friend and I both sew, so when some youngster showed they not only had the vision, but the ability to tailor that vision into a wearable garment, we were duly impressed. I complained about the interviews and all the dramatics. My friend, a former TV producer, explained the conflict and the personalities as the story arc for the season.
Then, I began to look at this reality TV show as fiction. Even though it's not fiction, it's actually orchestrated in such a way as to have the story arc of a fiction. Highs and lows are created, heroes and villains are shown on camera. All the drama, all the time.
My friend has moved from Tulsa, but we've continued to 'meet' on our laptops and chat our way through the show each week via instant messenger. It's a fun way to keep in touch with a dear friend. And really, it's all about the fashion.
--Sandee Wagner
All that changed for me a couple years ago. One of my friends at work lamented the fact that, having cut off her cable as a cost saving measure, she'd be unable to watch her favorite reality show's second season. Without knowing what the show was, I told her she could watch it at my house each week.
I think it never dawned on me that she'd take me up on the offer. The first week, I was surprised when the doorbell rang, but I gamely tuned in the first episode of the second season of Project Runway. In this show, you follow a bunch of wannabe designers as they do one day challenges, trying to make haute couture out of whatever the judges deem possible. Sometimes they are to be 'inspired' by architecture, museum exhibits or the circus. Sometimes they are to find all their 'materials' in a hardware store. Always, what they present walking down the runway has to impress real designers and industry mavens.
At first, it was about the construction. My friend and I both sew, so when some youngster showed they not only had the vision, but the ability to tailor that vision into a wearable garment, we were duly impressed. I complained about the interviews and all the dramatics. My friend, a former TV producer, explained the conflict and the personalities as the story arc for the season.
Then, I began to look at this reality TV show as fiction. Even though it's not fiction, it's actually orchestrated in such a way as to have the story arc of a fiction. Highs and lows are created, heroes and villains are shown on camera. All the drama, all the time.
My friend has moved from Tulsa, but we've continued to 'meet' on our laptops and chat our way through the show each week via instant messenger. It's a fun way to keep in touch with a dear friend. And really, it's all about the fashion.
--Sandee Wagner
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Volunteerism
I volunteered for Tulsa Habitat for Humanity a few weeks ago. After learning that they had plenty of folks for the builds, and that they really needed help in the office, I offered myself up for data entry duty.
Each week, I spend a day typing in all the hours the volunteers spend on each project, any new volunteer's information, and other administrative information that is tracked in a database. One of the items that is tracked is what group sponsors each individual who signs up. There are lots of churches and corporations that sponsor builds. These organizations want reports back on which of their employees show up and for how long. The database allows all that information to be readily available. There is a release form each volunteer has to sign for legal purposes. One of my jobs is to enter these releases into the database.
Imagine my surprise when under 'Sponsor', one individual put in "DUI court"... Really? The court is sponsoring his hours?
Apparently, THFH is that it is a place where offenders can work off their community service hours. There are quite a few of them each week that work in the Re-Store to pay their debt to society. It got me thinking. What other things do community service folks do? I guess all I really picture is the offenders walking down the side of the road picking up trash. There must be a lot of places that they can work off their community service hours.
I wonder if there is a hierarchy of ones that are more interesting or fun than others? I wonder if the drunks are fighting to get work at the Re-Store so they don't have to schlep along the highway picking up trash? I also wonder if 'forced' volunteerism is a successful way to staff needed positions? I imagine that THFH would rather have a volunteer who wants to be there doing tasks at the Re-Store. But like other non-profits, times are tough and you've got to take the help where you can get it.
They're putting up with me, so they can't be too picky.
--Sandee Wagner
Each week, I spend a day typing in all the hours the volunteers spend on each project, any new volunteer's information, and other administrative information that is tracked in a database. One of the items that is tracked is what group sponsors each individual who signs up. There are lots of churches and corporations that sponsor builds. These organizations want reports back on which of their employees show up and for how long. The database allows all that information to be readily available. There is a release form each volunteer has to sign for legal purposes. One of my jobs is to enter these releases into the database.
Imagine my surprise when under 'Sponsor', one individual put in "DUI court"... Really? The court is sponsoring his hours?
Apparently, THFH is that it is a place where offenders can work off their community service hours. There are quite a few of them each week that work in the Re-Store to pay their debt to society. It got me thinking. What other things do community service folks do? I guess all I really picture is the offenders walking down the side of the road picking up trash. There must be a lot of places that they can work off their community service hours.
I wonder if there is a hierarchy of ones that are more interesting or fun than others? I wonder if the drunks are fighting to get work at the Re-Store so they don't have to schlep along the highway picking up trash? I also wonder if 'forced' volunteerism is a successful way to staff needed positions? I imagine that THFH would rather have a volunteer who wants to be there doing tasks at the Re-Store. But like other non-profits, times are tough and you've got to take the help where you can get it.
They're putting up with me, so they can't be too picky.
--Sandee Wagner
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Closet Clearance
I saw another one of those shows this morning. You know the one. Someone who purports to 'love you' sends your name to a designer who comes to your home unannounced and looks through your clothes and your closet.
This one had a little different schtick in that they also redesigned your closet along with your look. It was kind of a 'what not to wear' combined with 'get organized' or maybe 'hoarders'. I'm not sure. I have questions about these types of shows. First, if someone loves you, would they really submit your name? Second, if you are truly resistant to the makeover, does the show never air?
I've got an ongoing battle with one of my DILs. I told her I'd never do 'What Not To Wear' regardless of the $5,000 new wardrobe and trip to the city. Those two are just mean. Tim Gunn does his "Guide To Style" show and he does the same kind of style makeover but gently and with kindness. Tim Gunn can come make me over, but never the WNTW folks.
This newest show was on HGTV and is called Closet Case. The designer wasn't as nice as Tim Gunn but he also wasn't as mean as the WNTW duo. I'd love to have my closet redesigned, but I'm not sure I want it enough to have someone come paw through my fashion choices and see what truly dreadful taste I really have.
Because I do have dreadful taste.
I very seldom go clothes shopping on my own. I really need a good friend who will say, "put that back". When I get into a department store or boutique, my magpie tendencies are ascendant. I love all things sequined, beaded and shiny! If it's gem-encrusted, then I NEED it. In a big way. My closet is full of fashion faux pas. But don't send my name in. I really don't want to throw away my stuff.
--Sandee Wagner
This one had a little different schtick in that they also redesigned your closet along with your look. It was kind of a 'what not to wear' combined with 'get organized' or maybe 'hoarders'. I'm not sure. I have questions about these types of shows. First, if someone loves you, would they really submit your name? Second, if you are truly resistant to the makeover, does the show never air?
I've got an ongoing battle with one of my DILs. I told her I'd never do 'What Not To Wear' regardless of the $5,000 new wardrobe and trip to the city. Those two are just mean. Tim Gunn does his "Guide To Style" show and he does the same kind of style makeover but gently and with kindness. Tim Gunn can come make me over, but never the WNTW folks.
This newest show was on HGTV and is called Closet Case. The designer wasn't as nice as Tim Gunn but he also wasn't as mean as the WNTW duo. I'd love to have my closet redesigned, but I'm not sure I want it enough to have someone come paw through my fashion choices and see what truly dreadful taste I really have.
Because I do have dreadful taste.
I very seldom go clothes shopping on my own. I really need a good friend who will say, "put that back". When I get into a department store or boutique, my magpie tendencies are ascendant. I love all things sequined, beaded and shiny! If it's gem-encrusted, then I NEED it. In a big way. My closet is full of fashion faux pas. But don't send my name in. I really don't want to throw away my stuff.
--Sandee Wagner
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Spring and the Wind
One of the things I like most about Oklahoma is the wind. I've always said that I can stand any temperature as long as the air is moving. I like a breeze. In OK, you get that in spades.
We have a 10-15 mph breeze every single day, and some days, like today, we have really windy weather that gives us 40 mph gusts. When that happens, the weather takes on a animalistic persona. It sounds like a beast wailing or moaning.
I'm sure that different people experience the sounds relative to their yard and trees, and how 'tight' their home or windows are. But when the wind blows like this and the trees bend and creak, it's always exciting to me.
Yes, I have to chase the light stuff across my yard and store it out of the way. Yes, the dogs get freaked out and whine at the back door begging to come in. But still, I enjoy it. This day is not like every other day. It's blowing briskly. Anything could happen. In fiction, it often does. A day like today brought Mary Poppins to two desperately unhappy children. A day like today, blew up trouble for Dorothy in Kansas.
For me, it means listening to the sounds and enjoying the fact that for once, I'm ahead of the game. I had the arborists take all the deadfall down two weeks ago. So, no worrying about dead branches winging down to hit me in the head!
--Sandee Wagner
We have a 10-15 mph breeze every single day, and some days, like today, we have really windy weather that gives us 40 mph gusts. When that happens, the weather takes on a animalistic persona. It sounds like a beast wailing or moaning.
I'm sure that different people experience the sounds relative to their yard and trees, and how 'tight' their home or windows are. But when the wind blows like this and the trees bend and creak, it's always exciting to me.
Yes, I have to chase the light stuff across my yard and store it out of the way. Yes, the dogs get freaked out and whine at the back door begging to come in. But still, I enjoy it. This day is not like every other day. It's blowing briskly. Anything could happen. In fiction, it often does. A day like today brought Mary Poppins to two desperately unhappy children. A day like today, blew up trouble for Dorothy in Kansas.
For me, it means listening to the sounds and enjoying the fact that for once, I'm ahead of the game. I had the arborists take all the deadfall down two weeks ago. So, no worrying about dead branches winging down to hit me in the head!
--Sandee Wagner
Monday, April 5, 2010
Customer Service is Dead
There are moments in time when I think that if customer service ever existed here, then it's dead and buried.
I kenneled my dogs over the weekend. More than kenneled, really, I had their checkups, all their shots, they spent four nights and I had the groomer shave them down for the hot weather. You can imagine what all this cost for two big dogs. Over $500.00.
When I dropped them off last week, I told the attendant at the kennel that I was picking them up on Monday. She asked when, I said, "Monday afternoon". She said fine. She didn't specify a "no earlier than" time, or a "no later than" time. So I left town and didn't give it any more thought.
When I drove back to Tulsa today, I hit town at 1:30 pm. That's afternoon, right? I went to the door of the kennel where I left the dogs (and have picked them up before). It was locked. There was a small buzzer, so I rang it. There was no sign 'be right back', there were no posted hours or indications that someone would be coming back. WTH? I banged on the doors. I wanted my dogs back.
After standing outside with a couple of other customers for more than fifteen minutes, a technician finally walked over and unlocked the door and let us into the kennel office. She wouldn't help us. She said she just did the 'doggie day care'. I insisted that she call and have someone come over to help us. She played dumb. Now, I hate that. If you're wearing the uniform, you represent the company. Even if it's not your job, help the customer. It's just good business.
After playing completely ignorant, she called someone from the other building and asked them to come over--but only after I insisted she do so. A young gentleman rushed in, dropped into the desk chair, and started typing on the computer, but by this time, two other customers has bailed out. They'd taken their dogs and gotten back in their cars and left. So, it's not just me being demanding and sensitive.
This guy tapped and tapped and finally said something was wrong with the computer. Then he rushed out of the office, back to the other building. So, there I was standing inside the locked office, holding a couple of empty leashes and looking at my wristwatch. So far, 45 minutes have passed since I arrived. Still no dogs.
While I stood there, wondering if I should try to fix the computer myself, a gal walked in from the back of the office. She had a big plate of cake and was wiping frosting off her mouth. So, break time. She immediately asked me if I was there to pick up Chip and Sophie. I said, "Yes!" and thought, "finally, someone who can help me." She got real snippy with me and told me that Chip was done but Sophie wasn't done yet. I'd have to come back. So, at going on an hour invested, I find out that the dogs are not done. And apparently, I'd interrupted her break with my annoying checkbook.
I looked at this gal (I was assuming she was the groomer, but I could be wrong) who was acting way too busy to help me. Once again, no identification or offering to help. She told me that Sophie wasn't done. Then she went on to tell me that dogs are ready to be picked up from the kennel after 1:00 but if they were having grooming service (like mine) then it takes longer. I informed her that I had ASKED when to pick them up and was told 'the afternoon.' Then I pointed out that it was, in fact, AFTERNOON. Could she specify how much longer she needed? It was like pulling teeth. With no novacaine.
Before I left, I told this gal that they had lost at least two customers and if they weren't going to be opening the door, they should put up a sign and direct people to the building next door.
So, I left. I came home, unpacked, started some laundry. I ate a meal and THEN I went back. When I got there, they had erected a sign. So I went to the right place, at least. Then I asked for my dogs. They told me they'd bring them right up, but that the vet wanted to speak to me. Could I wait until he wasn't busy? Really? They wanted me to wait some more? They wanted me to wait some more now that they had my $500.00.
I told them I'd wait for five minutes, but no more. My nerves were frayed and I was already frustrated with their significant lack of customer service. They let me take the dogs into a small exam room to wait for the vet. He came quickly, I'll give him that. Then he gave me a quick rundown on the pups.
He wanted me to spend a bunch more money... So, I gave him my patented response: were the dogs suffering pain? If so, we could just put them down. I don't want them in pain. But I'm not spending hundreds of dollars on medicine for a thirteen year old dog that someone else threw away. I'm pretty sure the vet got it. He suggested a $350 surgery for Sophie to remove a small tumor forming on her eyelid. You needed a magnifying glass to see the little bump. I asked him if it was pressing on anything or causing any pain? No. But it might. I told him that Sophie was the kind of dog that someone threw into the bed of the pickup truck while you were in Walmart shopping, not the kind of dog someone did cosmetic surgery on. He was appalled at my response.
I am not getting nominated for Pet Owner of The Year.
But neither is this vet and kennel getting recommended to my friends. Sheez. How hard is it to staff your business? Answer your doors and phones? It's going to be harder when your customers start trickling away. Like me.
--Sandee Wagner
I kenneled my dogs over the weekend. More than kenneled, really, I had their checkups, all their shots, they spent four nights and I had the groomer shave them down for the hot weather. You can imagine what all this cost for two big dogs. Over $500.00.
When I dropped them off last week, I told the attendant at the kennel that I was picking them up on Monday. She asked when, I said, "Monday afternoon". She said fine. She didn't specify a "no earlier than" time, or a "no later than" time. So I left town and didn't give it any more thought.
When I drove back to Tulsa today, I hit town at 1:30 pm. That's afternoon, right? I went to the door of the kennel where I left the dogs (and have picked them up before). It was locked. There was a small buzzer, so I rang it. There was no sign 'be right back', there were no posted hours or indications that someone would be coming back. WTH? I banged on the doors. I wanted my dogs back.
After standing outside with a couple of other customers for more than fifteen minutes, a technician finally walked over and unlocked the door and let us into the kennel office. She wouldn't help us. She said she just did the 'doggie day care'. I insisted that she call and have someone come over to help us. She played dumb. Now, I hate that. If you're wearing the uniform, you represent the company. Even if it's not your job, help the customer. It's just good business.
After playing completely ignorant, she called someone from the other building and asked them to come over--but only after I insisted she do so. A young gentleman rushed in, dropped into the desk chair, and started typing on the computer, but by this time, two other customers has bailed out. They'd taken their dogs and gotten back in their cars and left. So, it's not just me being demanding and sensitive.
This guy tapped and tapped and finally said something was wrong with the computer. Then he rushed out of the office, back to the other building. So, there I was standing inside the locked office, holding a couple of empty leashes and looking at my wristwatch. So far, 45 minutes have passed since I arrived. Still no dogs.
While I stood there, wondering if I should try to fix the computer myself, a gal walked in from the back of the office. She had a big plate of cake and was wiping frosting off her mouth. So, break time. She immediately asked me if I was there to pick up Chip and Sophie. I said, "Yes!" and thought, "finally, someone who can help me." She got real snippy with me and told me that Chip was done but Sophie wasn't done yet. I'd have to come back. So, at going on an hour invested, I find out that the dogs are not done. And apparently, I'd interrupted her break with my annoying checkbook.
I looked at this gal (I was assuming she was the groomer, but I could be wrong) who was acting way too busy to help me. Once again, no identification or offering to help. She told me that Sophie wasn't done. Then she went on to tell me that dogs are ready to be picked up from the kennel after 1:00 but if they were having grooming service (like mine) then it takes longer. I informed her that I had ASKED when to pick them up and was told 'the afternoon.' Then I pointed out that it was, in fact, AFTERNOON. Could she specify how much longer she needed? It was like pulling teeth. With no novacaine.
Before I left, I told this gal that they had lost at least two customers and if they weren't going to be opening the door, they should put up a sign and direct people to the building next door.
So, I left. I came home, unpacked, started some laundry. I ate a meal and THEN I went back. When I got there, they had erected a sign. So I went to the right place, at least. Then I asked for my dogs. They told me they'd bring them right up, but that the vet wanted to speak to me. Could I wait until he wasn't busy? Really? They wanted me to wait some more? They wanted me to wait some more now that they had my $500.00.
I told them I'd wait for five minutes, but no more. My nerves were frayed and I was already frustrated with their significant lack of customer service. They let me take the dogs into a small exam room to wait for the vet. He came quickly, I'll give him that. Then he gave me a quick rundown on the pups.
He wanted me to spend a bunch more money... So, I gave him my patented response: were the dogs suffering pain? If so, we could just put them down. I don't want them in pain. But I'm not spending hundreds of dollars on medicine for a thirteen year old dog that someone else threw away. I'm pretty sure the vet got it. He suggested a $350 surgery for Sophie to remove a small tumor forming on her eyelid. You needed a magnifying glass to see the little bump. I asked him if it was pressing on anything or causing any pain? No. But it might. I told him that Sophie was the kind of dog that someone threw into the bed of the pickup truck while you were in Walmart shopping, not the kind of dog someone did cosmetic surgery on. He was appalled at my response.
I am not getting nominated for Pet Owner of The Year.
But neither is this vet and kennel getting recommended to my friends. Sheez. How hard is it to staff your business? Answer your doors and phones? It's going to be harder when your customers start trickling away. Like me.
--Sandee Wagner
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Happy Easter!
There is nothing that is as much fun as an Easter egg hunt with a couple of little kids. They are enthusiastic, competitive and relentless. We watched this morning while my three year old grandson and his eighteen month old sister chased around the backyard finding plastic eggs filled with candies.
After the plastic eggs were all collected, we broke out a dozen Cascarones (confetti filled eggshells) and busted them against each other's heads. Great fun!
We took a lot of pictures and captured a lot of smiles. We managed to get the kids to ingest some lunch along with their candies, and the meltdowns were kept to a minimum... maybe one time out.
I consider the whole holiday a success. Tonight we'll have dinner with the great grand parents and visit a great aunt. Easter is one of those holidays where being with family is important. Family is who loves you and sacrifices for you. And this is the holiday where Jesus' sacrifice for our salvation is celebrated.
I'm still working on how bunnies, eggs and chocolate work into that...
--Sandee Wagner
After the plastic eggs were all collected, we broke out a dozen Cascarones (confetti filled eggshells) and busted them against each other's heads. Great fun!
We took a lot of pictures and captured a lot of smiles. We managed to get the kids to ingest some lunch along with their candies, and the meltdowns were kept to a minimum... maybe one time out.
I consider the whole holiday a success. Tonight we'll have dinner with the great grand parents and visit a great aunt. Easter is one of those holidays where being with family is important. Family is who loves you and sacrifices for you. And this is the holiday where Jesus' sacrifice for our salvation is celebrated.
I'm still working on how bunnies, eggs and chocolate work into that...
--Sandee Wagner
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Scrabbilicious
I've started playing Scrabble with a couple of my friends and family on Facebook. I have to admit, it'd be more fun if it was a little faster, but I do enjoy using my brain for a few moments at a time. I have some friends who'll play a single game, one move a day... others who have smart phones and will put out words several times a day during their breaks at work.
My DIL asked for an actual Scrabble board game for her birthday and I was happy to oblige. I got her the Diamond Edition in the self storing board. The game has a built in lazy susan and a grid that keeps the tiles in place as you spin the game around the table. As soon as she opened the gift, we started a game. My son, my darling DIL, my best friend and me started a game of Scrabble.
BFF and DIL play each other every day, via smart phone on Facebook. My son and I played it while he was growing up. When we got to the table, the play was so distinct, it was fascinating.
BFF and DIL were impetuous. They didn't want to wait while son and I took our time studying our word choices and adding up the different values depending on which play we made. The phone based players are SO impatient. They see a word and play and submit. They don't give a moment of time thinking about strategy or blocking other plays.
Darling son and I were weighing our choices and counting scores in our head... and driving them CRAZY! The smart phone players were so fidgety. If we had had one of those chess timers, they'd have been hitting the bell. At one point in time, my DIL offered to get an egg timer they could set to 'speed us up'. Amazing. The Internet has created so many opportunities for people to connect. It seems strange to factor in the downside of immediacy.
We are so fortunate today. This generation has benefited from the great strides in technology. But the downside is, they have attention spans of a gnat. I know. I played Scrabble with some.
--Sandee Wagner
My DIL asked for an actual Scrabble board game for her birthday and I was happy to oblige. I got her the Diamond Edition in the self storing board. The game has a built in lazy susan and a grid that keeps the tiles in place as you spin the game around the table. As soon as she opened the gift, we started a game. My son, my darling DIL, my best friend and me started a game of Scrabble.
BFF and DIL play each other every day, via smart phone on Facebook. My son and I played it while he was growing up. When we got to the table, the play was so distinct, it was fascinating.
BFF and DIL were impetuous. They didn't want to wait while son and I took our time studying our word choices and adding up the different values depending on which play we made. The phone based players are SO impatient. They see a word and play and submit. They don't give a moment of time thinking about strategy or blocking other plays.
Darling son and I were weighing our choices and counting scores in our head... and driving them CRAZY! The smart phone players were so fidgety. If we had had one of those chess timers, they'd have been hitting the bell. At one point in time, my DIL offered to get an egg timer they could set to 'speed us up'. Amazing. The Internet has created so many opportunities for people to connect. It seems strange to factor in the downside of immediacy.
We are so fortunate today. This generation has benefited from the great strides in technology. But the downside is, they have attention spans of a gnat. I know. I played Scrabble with some.
--Sandee Wagner
Friday, April 2, 2010
Setting Expectations
While visiting my grandkids for the holiday weekend, I ran into my DIL's parents. They had come by to drop off Easter baskets and visit. We had dinner with them. It's always fun to visit with someone who is as charmed with your grandkids as you are.
Grannie (not me, I'm Grandee) walked in with two plastic sand buckets, complete with digging shovels. Each bucket had a book, and a few chocolates in the bottom. But in pride of place was a placard with a bright yellow animal on it, about the size of a tiny hand. For Zoey, a duck and for ZJ, a giraffe.
When the kids had eaten some of the chocolates, dug in the mulch with their shovels, and worn their grandmas to the ground, they finally found the other toy in the packaging and demanded it be opened. Grannie shook her head and said, "This is for bath time. When it gets wet, it GROWS!" The kids were so excited. They couldn't wait for bath time.
My son, who's an exceptionally good dad, takes care of bath time each night and his wife reads/rocks the kids to sleep. Last night, because the house was full up on grandparents, he tried to short cut the bath and told the kids they'd have baths in the morning. There was a full meltdown. He had no idea that they had patiently waited for this 'surprise gift' all evening.
When he got it, he gamely ran the water and threw the babies into the tub. We scrounged around until we found the toys and pulled them out of the packaging. Into the tub went the yellow giraffe and the duck. And the kids waited. Nothing.
Finally, Grannie pulled the cardboard out of the trash and read the fine print... it takes up to 96 hours for these little sponges to 'grow'. The disappointment was palpable. Little fat lips quivered. Finally, Daddy ran into the kitchen and got some plasticware and filled it with water and left the little things floating in water so they could drain the tub.
We put the kids to bed last night with promises of the grown sponge toys. I got up this morning early and looked in the bathroom. They haven't grown a fraction of an inch. Not a bit of watery plumpness.
So, new rule: if you buy a kid a toy with some kid of water effect, read the label before you present it to the darlings. They have very short attention spans, and can be so easily disappointed.
--Sandee Wagner
Grannie (not me, I'm Grandee) walked in with two plastic sand buckets, complete with digging shovels. Each bucket had a book, and a few chocolates in the bottom. But in pride of place was a placard with a bright yellow animal on it, about the size of a tiny hand. For Zoey, a duck and for ZJ, a giraffe.
When the kids had eaten some of the chocolates, dug in the mulch with their shovels, and worn their grandmas to the ground, they finally found the other toy in the packaging and demanded it be opened. Grannie shook her head and said, "This is for bath time. When it gets wet, it GROWS!" The kids were so excited. They couldn't wait for bath time.
My son, who's an exceptionally good dad, takes care of bath time each night and his wife reads/rocks the kids to sleep. Last night, because the house was full up on grandparents, he tried to short cut the bath and told the kids they'd have baths in the morning. There was a full meltdown. He had no idea that they had patiently waited for this 'surprise gift' all evening.
When he got it, he gamely ran the water and threw the babies into the tub. We scrounged around until we found the toys and pulled them out of the packaging. Into the tub went the yellow giraffe and the duck. And the kids waited. Nothing.
Finally, Grannie pulled the cardboard out of the trash and read the fine print... it takes up to 96 hours for these little sponges to 'grow'. The disappointment was palpable. Little fat lips quivered. Finally, Daddy ran into the kitchen and got some plasticware and filled it with water and left the little things floating in water so they could drain the tub.
We put the kids to bed last night with promises of the grown sponge toys. I got up this morning early and looked in the bathroom. They haven't grown a fraction of an inch. Not a bit of watery plumpness.
So, new rule: if you buy a kid a toy with some kid of water effect, read the label before you present it to the darlings. They have very short attention spans, and can be so easily disappointed.
--Sandee Wagner
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