I've spent quite a while over the past two years helping to plan a family reunion. I'm actually counting on the fact that none of my family knows about this blog... Because this has been a thankless task.
My parents want very badly for our family to get together and stay close. We decided long ago that annually wouldn't work, but that we ought to all be able to make it once every five years. That doesn't seem like it would overburden someone's vacation schedule, does it? Apparently, it does.
After going to a great deal of trouble to find a 'family friendly' place (with indoor pool and waterpark) that was near enough to my retired parents to make travel easy for them, we start getting the messages. "I'll be there, but the family isn't coming." I guess I should be happy that my siblings are bothering to attend. But without their families, the crowd is, quite possibly, one third the size we were expecting.
So, where does 'family reunion' say, "leave your family at home?" I'm a little stumped. And a lot angry. And I need to get over it. I cannot control what others do, or how they prioritize things. Being upset will only make me ill and it certainly won't change what my siblings do. It never has.
At this point, the other sister who has been arranging this with me and I are on the hook for quite a bit of money. Yes, hotels require deposits when you want to rent big rooms. And they have catering minimums. And now, we don't need a big room, and we won't make our minimums. But we'll have to pay, no question about that. The big question is this: Can I go to the reunion and have a good time and not be angry with my siblings for buying solo plane tickets and leaving their families at home? Not sure.
One thing I am sure of, I am never going to plan another reunion. In a couple years, if someone mentions it, I'll just let them know that I'll show up wherever they plan it. I'm not doing this again.
My husband, who is always full of sage advice, is very realistic. He reminds me that we can't let this behavior alter our relationships with family. I do believe that it will be hard not to.
--Sandee Wagner
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8 comments:
I heard a little about this yesterday. This is very disappointing, but we will have fun. YOU have to have fun with your grandbabies running through a water park having a blast and they can't get burned by the sun!!!!! I'm sorry this has been a hassle. I love you.
I am definitely going to have fun. It's my vacation, dammit. I will not brood about those that can't make it. I won't, I promise. I'll just play in the pool with my grandbabies. spw
and if we see you brooding at any time, we will splash you in the face, or top off you Cape Cod--which ever seems more appropriate at the time... I love you too, and as long as I get a new job before the reunion, I'll be there.
It's just like planning a conference! (Except you didn't have to find speakers along with all the other stuff you had to do.) No fun, huh? Especially when the crowd just doesn't show.
You do have a wise husband.
Your siblings' spouses might have something to do with the problems. When you let other people into the family, they start to muddy the water.
Emmy,
You better frickin' be there even in you still have your current job. Ask for the weekend now. If your boss gives you crap, I'll call him and tear a piece of his a$$ off. I've already booked you and Craig a room for Friday and Saturday nights.
Susan,
My brothers and sisters are coming but leaving their families behind. Hello? What part of FAMILY reunion do you not understand. If you're not bringing your beautiful children, then I'm not sure I want to see you anyway.... GRRR.
I already asked for the weekend off a month ago, someone still beat me to it, and he's worked for PB for 11 years... So if I still work at PB, and I want to continue to receive a paycheck...
Emm,
Can you get someone from another store to cover for you? Please?
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