Happy Memorial Day

We only have a few national celebrations that honor the troops who defend us and our freedoms. Veteran's Day and Memorial Day are the biggest. Generally there are some local parades where the VFW and vets turn out to march and wave to martial music.

Memorial Day is a day to remember. To think back. To honor the sacrifices of previous generations and THIS generation. When I was a kid, one of the things that seemed to be very prevalent in all families were unmarried women of a certain age. Everyone had a 'maiden aunt'. When you chatted with these delightful old ladies, you often heard about the boyfriend/fiancee/husband who went away to war and never came back. I had one woman tell me that not enough men came back at all. Their generation became 'woman heavy' leaving many who would have chosen otherwise to remain unmarried.

We often think of the soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines who pay the ultimate sacrifice. We don't often think about the loved ones who live a long, long life affected by that person's sacrifice. Many people, many families are impacted by war. Every generation has had some adverse impacts stemming from politicians and governments arguing land boundaries, systems of government and civil rights.

Memorial Day is a good day to think of all the sacrifices made by all Americans in pursuit of our freedoms. So here's to the decorated soldiers filling our national cemeteries. Here's to the women who lived full lives missing a man and had to make do with mothering other people's children. Here's to the parents who outlived a youngster who wanted to serve his country. Here's to the veterans who come home and can never regain that innocent sense of duty. Here's to the veterans who lost use of their limbs, or who suffer from brain damage or emotional problems stemming from their honorable service.

Here's to the men and women on duty today, making sure that our freedoms are protected. Our purple mountains majesty and amber waves of grain would not be safe without your dedication and service. Thank you.

--Sandee Wagner

At The Farmer's Market

I spent a pleasant four hours at a farmer's market keeping a friend company while she tried to shill her handicrafts. It was very fun. Pleasant weather. Perfect breeze. Enough traffic to keep it interesting.

The only problem? It's pretty early for the best vegetables. That's right. I said it. I don't like turnips and radishes and the early vegetables you get from your gardens. Keep your beets.

I bought some onions and some potatoes to roast. I also got some fresh lettuce and endive. I'm sure it will be good. But, like most of the browsers, I was disappointed. No tomatoes. It's too early for them.

I heard a guy on the radio calling tomatoes the 'gateway drug' for home gardeners. Most of us are so disappointed in the taste and lack of flavor in grocery store tomatoes, that we decide to start our own home gardens just for the tomatoes. The idea that memories of good fruits and vegetables would bring people to take up gardening was a wake up call for me.

Do I care enough to do the work a garden requires? I do miss really good tomatoes... maybe I should investigate hydroponics. Can you grow a really tasty tomato without all that sunshine and dirt and insects?

Maybe I should just stick with the farmer's market. Eventually, the really good vegetables will show up.

--Sandee Wagner

When They Grow Up What Will They Think?

There is a lot of reality TV on right now. I guess it's the big thing. My opinion is that it got its start during the writer's strike and producers realized that they saved a bunch not having scripts written. But I digress.

Reality TV is basically home movies shared with the masses.

Take TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras. It follows little girls through the pageant circuit. Some have 'stage mothers' and some are just drama queens. Of course, the show displays all the temper tantrums and meltdowns. What I can't help but think is that in 15 years, those little girls will be grown up and mortified of the behaviors on display. Won't they?

Just like the Jon & Kate Plus Eight family will always be exposed to their father's infidelity and their parents divorce because it played out in the media. Those kids will be faced with adults who watched them 'grow up' on TV. It's like their home movies viewed by millions of people. I can imagine the future conversations, "Oh hey, you're that Gosling kid! One of the sextuplets. Were you the one who..."

I have some embarrassing home movies. When they are viewed, my brothers and sisters laugh like crazy. But we're not showing the world my awkward moments. We're showing them to family. I can't envision a time when it would be okay for that film to be shared with strangers, or people who don't love me.

I understand that these reality shows pay big money. I'm sure that some of these families are tied to the productions just because of the paycheck. But there is a cost to having your family drama play out on TV. Some outsider is judging your behavior. Some interloper is criticizing your parenting skills. Someone is mocking your little princess.

Some day these kids will be in high school and I guarantee you that their nemesis will find the DVDs and use these shows to make them miserable. When these kids grow up, what will they think of their parents' decision to play out their childhood on TV?

--Sandee Wagner

Love in the Age of the Internet

I am a happily married woman. Having been off the dating scene for 31 years, I look at dating and the single life like a scientist looks through a microscope. It's fascinating to me.

I have a dear friend, who after years of single-ness, listed on one of the online dating sites. I completely understand and encourage this. We're basically both techno-geeks, so online just makes sense to me.

But I never realized how many online sites there are... eHarmony, match.com, chemistry.com, the list goes on and on. There are specialty sites for people looking for significant others that share ancestry or religion--yes, there is a catholicmatch.com.

So, that got me to thinking... if you believe that everyone has a perfect match, a destined or fated significant other, then will they find you?

If my friend lists on eHarmony, what are the cosmic chances that her perfect match is on match.com instead? Or are the sites busted up by the seriousness of the people who register? Will people interested in dating, but not marriage, list on chemistry.com instead of eHarmony? Are the sites catering to the INTENT of the daters?

Do folks that list on one site look for matches and if they don't find someone, go to another site? I find it interesting.

Dating is about putting yourself out there, taking a risk. Single people are the bravest among us. If you don't believe that, then start asking people about their worst dating experience ever. The stories will curl your hair or your toes.

To continue to look and try to find that special someone you can spend your life with is a quest. It's a commitment. People who strive for that kind of happiness are optimists.

I met an interesting couple at a party. They met on match.com. She was a lawyer, he was an engineer. Both highly educated and successful people. The indicated that they selected online dating because of a lack of time. They just didn't have time to hang around bars, wait on friends to fix them up, or engage in extra curricular activities to expose themselves to like minded people. Busy people rely on the technology to save themselves time and trouble.

Modern dating websites are the new matchmakers, the new intermediary. In the old days, your family would vet individuals before arranging a marriage. No one in the US expects their parents to find them a mate. Nowadays, singles have to vet their own prospects. Some of the websites actually do background investigations. People with criminal records or felony charges against them will be winnowed out by the service. For the current single, it's about streamlining their process. Finding like minded people who are acceptable by society's standards.

Love in the age of the internet is exciting, distinct and convenient. In these days and times, I think it's genius. I just wonder if it's possible for fate to intervene??

--Sandee Wagner

Information on the Web

I begin to wonder if people are really thinking about who reads their blogs/posts and comments on social networking sites. If they understand or even know how long that information will be held.

I heard a lawyer on the radio the other day. He was saying that during jury selection on big trials, the lawyers pull up Facebook, MySpace and other social networking sites and begin searching names as the jury selection process takes place. Lawyers are going to look at your comments/posts and blogs to learn things about you that may qualify or disqualify you from a jury.

The same can be said for any legal proceeding. Human Resource personnel in any large company may review social networking sites to see if you violate internal codes of conduct. Certainly, the news media is dialed into this source of information on people in the public eye.

I think we can safely say that a politician will find it hard to evade any comments or posts made in previous years, if said politician changes his viewpoint in the future.

The Internet is an interesting place. It's a virtual storehouse of information. But it's also a physical warehouse of data. Even if you delete or take down a post from your site or social networking page, that post or comment made reside on a 'cached' copy of the site or page on some server somewhere. You can't control that. You cannot make sure that all instances of that comment or post go away.

The companies that have tried to offer that as a paid service, whose business model was "pay me and I will find all instances of that post and delete it by using my super-cool webcrawler or 'bot" have been challenged in courts of law by the big social networking sites. The most successful one is being sued, of all people, by Facebook. Seems Fb doesn't want people to be able to disassociate themselves from the site by removing all instances of themselves and all their posts. But I digress.

By putting my thoughts into this blog, on this day, I am committing them to history like I carved them in stone. No amount of 'wishing it wasn't so' will be able to call them all back. So, that said, why do people post the diatribes they do? Why do people choose this media to state their views, when their views might morph, but history of their words will not?

Do you think that people really understand the distributed computing model? Or when someone posts a comment or blog, do you think they think it's just committed to one server in one place?

Got Your Towel??

Today publication of the book, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy) is being celebrated worldwide. People everywhere will be holding their towels.

This book, part of six that make up a trilogy (don't ask me, I didn't do it) documents a tongue in cheek ride through the universe made by hapless Englishman Arthur Dent. Originally published in 1979, these books caught the attention of a generation and have been produced for radio, TV, movie and the stage.

In this drama, Ford is quoted as saying "If you want to survive out here, you've got to know where your towel is. ..."

So, today is Towel Day (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Towel_Day). Wear it around your neck or your waist with pride. And Don't Panic.

--Sandee Wagner

How Bad For Me Is It??

My parents and I were discussing great recipes at breakfast. We talked about whether or not we learned to cook at our momma's knee (not!) and how long it took for us to become passable cooks.

We also talked about the best recipes we had, and the best food we'd ever eaten. Years ago, my mom gifted me with a set of old cookbooks. Some 1950's hardback entertaining cookbooks from Better Homes and Gardens or something like that... They are very fun to look through, but I've only actually cooked a few of the recipes.

One of the biggest hits from that set of cookbooks is from their Mexican Fiesta party menu. It's a recipe for Spanish Rice that is the best thing you've ever eaten in your whole life. I've made it to take to barbeques and end up fielding compliments all day long. It's so yummy. It ought to be. The recipe starts out with a half a pound of bacon fat.

That got my mom talking. She made the comment that if I only made it once or twice a year, how bad for me was it really? If you only eat something like that once in a blue moon, is it really so bad? Or is it a treat?

We don't have a lifestyle that has enough activity/exercise to allow us to intake that many calories. Not any longer. Not since we worked in the fields.

But once a year, to indulge in something steeped in bacon fat can't kill me. Can it? For the rest of the year, I cook things that are nutritionally dense and low calorie. I cook at home. I bake and broil. I use fresh vegetables in season and avoid canned, using frozen when possible.

I've really taken hold of my food intake. I read labels and avoid fast foods. So the question is this: how bad is it for me? Can I indulge a little once in a while?

--Sandee Wagner

Projects on the Patio

My folks are visiting but they are really good sports. This morning, my mama fretted about keeping me from doing something that needed doing. I told her that my only project was the mirror mosaic flower pots. She offered to keep me company on the back porch while I did the work.

So, for a few hours today, my folks sat out with me in the backyard while I got all artistic. I have two big pots glued to two equal sized pots that are inverted. The whole makes up a planter that will flank my front door. I'm excited about having them, but it's going to take a lot of broken mirror to make these look good.

Luckily, I have a box of bad luck that needs working out.

It was fun. Mom chatted with me about any subject that crossed her mind, dad read his book, and I kept sticking mirror shards onto the pots until I had one quarter of the project complete.

Good times. I wonder if I can get them to stay for three more days?

--Sandee Wagner

Checks in the Mail

Like a lot of other Americans, I now pay virtually all my bills online. There are a few that I still write checks for, but they are getting less and less each month. Bill payment has become an electronic medium for me.

But, as I look at the graduation announcements I'm receiving in the mail, I'm reminded that I'll always have to have some paper checks around--to write the grads for gifts and other philanthropic donations where I want a copy of what I donate.

So, I'm out of checks (or I will be soon) and I need to order some more. I no longer need to order massive quantities to have on hand. I use so few. I looked at the smallest amount that I could order and thought, "how long will it take me to use those up?" Probably, longer than I will live at that address, that's for sure.

Still, I order some because of the grads and others I mentioned. I placed the check order and then wondered, "If I had gone online and entered each of them as payees and queued a check to them through my online bill pay, all they'd be missing was the nice 'congratulations' card. And cold, hard money is a good replacement for nice cards, right?"

Am I getting lazy? I'm much happier with the electronic bill pay. I like being able to review my payment history online, see the payments as they are cashed/deposited. It's more immediate than the paper check turnaround used to be. Remember 'floating' a check? Writing it today in the hopes that you could cover it by the time it was cashed? That's a thing of the past for me. I can't even do it accidentally. The online format won't allow for it.

So, the grad gifts will wait for the checks to be delivered. I remember when the scariest part of the shipment was waiting for the checks in the mail. There was a whole fraud scheme where the check boxes were stolen from the mail (or mail boxes) and checks written before the addressee even knew they didn't arrive. Now, things are a little more secure. They track the packages and you know immediately if one has gone astray... soon enough to stop payment on the checks, probably.

I guess we'll never get completely off of paper. But we're mostly there.

--Sandee Wagner

Hormones and Me

I have known for some time that my body was changing. I was surgically forced into menopause and depended on hormone replacement therapy for a couple of years. When it quit working on my one and only symptom (hot flashes), I quit using the hormones.

I had the traditional complaints. Weight gain, dry skin, memory loss and no energy. I tried everything I could to lose the weight. I went Vegan for six months. I walked three miles daily. I counted calories. I kept a food journal. I read labels. I quit using foods with chemical additives and went organic.

Nothing worked. I started chatting with my sisters and other family members asking what their experiences were with menopause. Oh! The stories I heard. Seems like some of this stuff is pervasive. When I started really researching the medical impacts, I found out that almost all of my blood related female family members ended up on some kind of thyroid medication after the change of life. WHAT??

Yeah. That weight gain? Where I told people that it felt like my body just 'shut off'? Well, it apparently did. I went into my doctor's office and had a 'heart to heart' with my general practitioner. He ordered a bunch of blood work and lab tests. The end result? I need thyroid medicine AND hormones. But not estrogen. Testosterone.

That just blows my mind. Why would I need testosterone? When did they ever start testing women for that? I thought the only time a woman took testosterone is when she wanted to become a man... Imagine my surprise when I got the shot.

I don't know yet whether it will make my symptoms improve. I've heard from other women that their minds are clearer... I'm all for that. I'd like to get back to normal, whatever normal looks like now. I'd settle for just being able to maintain a healthy weight. I should know within the next three weeks if the thyroid treatment helps, and in the next couple of days if the hormones make me feel any better.

Keep your fingers crossed.

--Sandee Wagner

Politics on Facebook

Yes, I use Facebook. I've tried other social networking sites, but it's the one that I have the best luck with. I get frustrated when they change or move things. I hate the fact that every time they decide to release my private information to some business partner, they default to everyone 'opts in' and I have to opt out. But overall, it works for me.

Except for one thing. Politics.

I understand that people feel compelled to put the "I support our troops" banners up and 'like' all the pages that they believe in. I also understand that Fb offers people a unique way to spread their views. But I don't always agree with your views. Even if you're my friend.

Can we all agree to disagree? Can we decide not to post a diatribe on the latest [fill in political party here] politician that said something or did something stupid?

I know a guy who is engaging, interesting and a talented artist. I've always enjoyed his point of view and seeing his posted art pictures and descriptions. Last week, I hid his profile from my news feed. Not because I don't love him or cherish him as a friend, but because his political posts were making my blood pressure rise.

So, we are on the opposite end of the political spectrum. Since I know this guy, that was not a surprise to me. What I found out was that his relentless drum pounding and exhortations in the way of posts made my head hurt. So now I don't see any of his art or his fun thoughts on life and family. All because politics spoiled it for me.

Can we treat Facebook like the dinner table? No talk of sex, politics or religion? I'd like that.

--Sandee Wagner

Happy Birthday DH!!

My darling hubby is 50 years old today. We learned early on that birthdays are not despised dates to dread. Each birthday is a time to celebrate. We had our priorities shifted during our 30th birthday year--a brush with cancer will reset your life goals. We LOVE getting older.

DH doesn't like to have a fuss made, but I'd love to throw a party and have a cake and balloons. We won't, we'll do a low key birthday dinner and try not to embarrass him. But it's a joyous day. An anniversary to celebrate.

He has made me the happiest of women. He's shared 31 years of his life with me. I'm well and truly blessed.

Each year, in the six weeks between his birthday and mine, I tell everyone that he's MUCH OLDER than I am. He shakes his head when they wonder if he robbed the cradle. Then when my birthday rolls around in July, we are once again the same age. I embrace each year older and I know that DH will too.

Happy Birthday Bert!! Here's to 55 more years together.

--Sandee Wagner

Smells Like Campfire

Since the weather cooled off a little the past few days, we busted out our firepit and entertained on the back patio with a fire going. When the evenings are a little cool, it's so nice to build a fire and sit outside.

Also, when you have smokers in your non smoking house, they end up on the back porch anyway. So, this way, we could all just hang out and it wasn't a lot of 'coming and going'. Instead, we got to sit there and just visit.

The little firepit was an anniversary present for DH and myself. We picked it out and purchased it together. We've set a few fires, but always with friends outside. Never just the two of us.

We got to talking about what makes congregating around a fire so relaxing. Someone said the sight and sound were evocative. Another said the smell reminded them of childhood, camp and good times. I'm not sure WHY we like it, but we surely do.

Since it's been wet for the past few days, we didn't need to worry about the sparks. The wind was calm, so we didn't worry about the fire jumping. We just sat around, toasted our toes and lamented the fact that we didn't have Hershey bars, graham crackers and marshmallows.

All our clothing smells like campfire. I'm doing laundry today and it's a pervasive scent. I'll wash it out and replace the aroma with some soap or detergent. We'll dump the ashes and store the firepit out of the weather. But it will be out there, waiting for the next time.

--Sandee Wagner

It's All Hype

I'm disappointed in today's media. I think modern journalism has sold its soul to the devil. It's not news any more, it's "info-tainment".

Take the well disaster in the Gulf Of Mexico. There is a big well leaking. The rig caught on fire and was completely destroyed. Now they are working below the surface to cap that leaking well. But if you look in the news today, the only picture you'll see is the rig fully engulfed in flames. As if that fire has never been extinguished and that rig is still standing. It's not. It's been out for weeks... but what's the picture you see in the news? Do you see the empty Gulf with the slick spreading? No, that's not sexy enough. The flames and fire are much more evocative, so that's the picture they continue to show.

What happened to truth in the news media? What happened to reporting just the news without some kind of slant on the journalistic view? No one seems capable of reporting just the facts of what's happening in the Gulf. They are all telling the story as if the fate of all of the Gulf wildlife and fishes are threatened. As if the global warming and melting ice shelf will be affected. As if this one spill was the worst possible disaster in all of history.

It's not. It's been leaking for over a month and it's still released less oil than the Exxon Valdiz. Not that comparing one disaster to another is somehow all right, but it's a matter of scale. It's not the worst disaster in all offshore drilling. It is not the worst oil spill either. There have been worse. The shore and fishing in that area will be impacted. But you can't tell the size or scale of the disaster by just watching or reading the news. If you don't go and do your own research, you could be led to believe things that are patently untrue.

Don't get me wrong. It's a disaster. 11 workers lost their lives in the disaster and my heart goes out to their families and friends. That's the disaster. The loss of human life. Someone needs to look into the root causes and determine whether or not there was some negligence or poor maintenance as a causal link.

But the news media is not focused on that. They are hyping the spill and the failed cutoff plans. They are trying to make it out to be the worst spill in history, and it's not.

The news media makes me want to chunk things.

--Sandee Wagner

Best Laid Plans

We have family in town visiting this weekend. In an effort to plan some fun and entertainment, we decided to take them to Mayfest in downtown Tulsa.

Seemed like the perfect plan. Then we woke up this morning to the drizzling rain. First, I'm glad I'm not one of the promoters or participants in Mayfest, I'm sure this rain is making it a total loss for the folks displaying or playing music. But it does make it less attractive to drag visitors out into the deluge.

So, now I'm wondering how to entertain my family. What to do in Tulsa on a rainy Friday and Saturday?? Any suggestions??

--Sandee Wagner

Blown Away

Tornadoes touched down in Tulsa last night. I know because the civil defense sirens went off at 0450 and I sat bolt upright in bed. The electricity flashed at our house, but didn't go out. After about 10 minutes of the wailing klaxon, the wind whipped up, pounding rain rattled the windows and the worst of it blew past.

We drove across town to pick up a vehicle this afternoon, and we actually saw the path of the funnel. We saw buildings torn and shredded, fences and trees down and one house gone from its foundation. I've not heard of any loss of life, but in the big picture scheme of things, I think we got off pretty easy this time.

This is the nation's 'tornado alley' and it is the right time of year for storms.

We have an interior closet to use for sheltering in place. We keep our motorcycle helmets there, so they will be close and easy to don. Most people who get injured in tornadoes suffer from head trauma, so that's our best bet since we don't have a storm shelter, basement or safe room.

I'm thinking of other items I need to acquire and store in that closet. Maybe one of those crank style weather radios, and a battery operated lantern. Some comfy pillows and some reading materials. That way, when the air raid sirens go off again, I'll be prepared for the weather.

--Sandee Wagner

Life's Little Hurdles

Sometimes, I get so caught up in my own personal drama that I forget to be thankful for the easy path I'm on.

I have a great family. A wonderful spouse. Living parents. A comfortable lifestyle. No one close to me is suffering in any way. I have friends I pray for, who pray for me. I am the luckiest of all women. I know that.

Currently, we're looking at a relocation. My DH's employer is hinting at moving us either to corporate headquarters or abroad. I've always said that the 'not knowing' is more stressful than any decision made, one way or the other. Right now, we are in full 'not knowing' mode. We might move. We might get stationed overseas.

It's stressing me out. We've moved a lot. I'm good at it. But an overseas move comes with a lot of different decisions. You can only take a container full of stuff. What furniture do you take? What do you leave behind? Do you keep the house and rent it out? Do you sell? Do you store the cars or sell them off? Long term storage? What about the dogs?

I'm driving myself nuts thinking about decisions that may not need to be made. If they tell us tomorrow that we're headed to Houston, then all this stress is for nothing, right?

This kind of wait and see game is just one of life's little hurdles. It's something you have to survive while you're waiting to get on with your life. It doesn't change anything, it just trips you up.

I didn't run track in high school, but if I had, I wouldn't have run hurdles. That just looks hard. Every time one of the runners trips or knocks one down, I feel for them.

Life is full of trips and stops. We just have to do our best. And remember that there are a ton of people out there who only WISH they had our little problems because theirs are so much more devastating.

I'm blessed. I know it. No more worries.

--Sandee Wagner

The Last One

Today, now that the imminent threat of tornadoes is past, I'm going to finish the last flower bed.

Chain saw, hedge trimmer, garbage cans at the ready. It's a small bed, but needs a lot of trimming back. So, I'm guessing it will take a couple of hours and another 10 bags of mulch.

When this flower bed is done, we'll be done with the hard yard work. The rest will be planting a few bushes and maintaining the beds we've weeded and mulched. Work, but not the back breaking labor that throwing mulch can be.

Again, I will wait to see if I get a real 'job well done' feeling afterwards. I'm not sure that I get that from yard work. It's just work.

Hard manual labor calls for ibuprophen and protective clothing. I'd better go get mine on.

--Sandee Wagner

I Like A Storm

When you're on Facebook, you get a lot of random information from your friends and family. Most of the time, I scan through all the comments and just forget about them. Today is a blustery day in OK. We have a big storm system coming through and they've actually forecast tornadoes as a possibility.

On Fb, all the comments are about how 'down' people are because of the overcast skies. People affected with Seasonal Affective Disorder have an excuse when the sun doesn't shine. But there are a bunch more folks who just get down when they don't get daily sunshine.

That has NEVER been my problem. The sun is not my friend. I'm a pasty white redhead who has to avoid UV rays like the plague. When it's overcast, I'm happy. When it's stormy, I'm energized. I love to watch a storm blow in. I love the heavy clouds, the wind whipping up, and the sound and fury of a great cloudburst.

Don't get me wrong, I don't actually want to be out in it. I don't wish to be wet and cold. I really like to watch the blow from some sort of overhang. We've actually put lawn chairs in the garage and kept the door open to enjoy a good gale. I'm thinking my dream house would have a wrap around porch. I'd like to be able to watch from comfy lawn chairs without risking my neck.

I've lived in hurricane country, if the law says evacuate, I go. I don't party on the beach while a real storm comes in. Mother Nature is a cruel bitch and storms can kill you. I do take shelter when the weatherman says to. But otherwise, I like to watch the downpour.

So, today, I'm not posting all about how depressed I am. I'm watching the local weathermen and looking out at the wind as it whips up my trees. It's going to be a big storm and I can't wait.

--Sandee Wagner

Happy Anniversary!!

I was honored to attend a party last night in honor of a couple married for 70 years. That's right SEVENTY years.

It was a lovely event, catered by family and friends celebrating the diamond anniversary of a really fun couple. Three generations (possibly more) all shared in the planning and showed up to fete the guests of honor.

The venue was perfect and the music was ethnic and fun. Dancing kicked off by the honorees went late into the night. We made new friends, chatted with old friends and admired the married couple's fortitude all night long.

DH and I have been married for 31 years. Last night is the first time I ever thought of that as 'short term'. Time is certainly relative. My parents are on their 68th year of marriage. We threw them a bang up 50th for their golden anniversary. The whole family came and we pulled out all the stops.

Some events are meant to be celebrated. Some sacraments require private witness and public acceptance. Anniversaries are celebrations that are landmarks in any family's history. Last night was no exception. History was made for that family.

Everyone wore their party clothes. I like to call it 'glammed up'. There were long gowns, glittery jewelry and all the men wore suits and ties. The hall was filled with the smell of lamb, curry and yummy rice dishes. All of the exotic flavors and sounds were transcended by the common experience though--everyone was there to celebrate this union. These two people made it. Through wars, evacuations, raising children, illness, tragedy and happiness. Their bond remained strong.

Their love is a testament to all of us. Life is full of obstacles. You cling together and overcome. No one said it would be easy.

--Sandee Wagner

I need the suit

My DH and I went to an early afternoon movie yesterday. Before the crowds and lines, we saw IronMan II. It was a great date--lunch and a movie.

The film was really tremendous. Sometimes a sequel to a successful movie is a bad idea. This time, I have to say, the second one might have been better than the first movie.

Action movies like this one really rely on the CGI for all the robot scenes. They did a really good job. Even when I was looking for it, I couldn't see where the animation stopped and the live action started. They've come a long way, baby.

The story of IronMan I has the rich, narcissistic playboy-businessman kidnapped and trapped in captivity by a bunch of terrorists. It's neat to watch him evolve and realize that he is, indeed, selling death to the bad guys. When he escapes and does good we all cheer for him.

In the second movie, he is still evolving and learning as a character. He hasn't lost his smartass-ness, or narcissism, but he does get some grounding with his trusty sidekick Pepper Pots, and his friend Col. Rhodes.

I know that this story is based on a highly successful comic book hero. But I love the idea of IronMan. I love the idea of being able to strap on a suit and having super powers. In the recent blockbuster, Avatar, the military 'walkers' were the tech that I coveted. Ever since seeing Ripley in Alien walk in that big loader suit, I wanted one of those strength enhancing frames.

It's one thing to want to save the world, it's another thing entirely to want to enhance your strength or abilities using some kind of combat frame. I wouldn't mind having the ability to walk without tiring, run long distances, or carry heavy loads. When I think about the future of robotics, I think that is more likely to be what we see. Some kind of suit based forklift or loader.

Of course, the weapons make them way cool. I need that suit.

--Sandee Wagner

Where's the feeling of accomplishment??

We finished the flower beds in the back yard today. Laid down newspapers and weedproof fabric and a thick layer of mulch on everything. We've got some blank spots where we'll need to fill in some bushes but for the most part, it's done.

I have one small bed in the front yard that still needs to be cleaned out and mulched. It has some major bush trimming that needs to be done first. And my family has taken away the chain saw. Apparently, I am not to be trusted with it.

I keep looking out the back windows, catching sight of the newly mulched beds and waiting for that feeling of accomplishment... but it's not coming. I'm not sure if that's because there's still one bed in the front yard, and therefore, the job is not done? Or if it's because it was so much work that I'm just freaking exhausted.

My knees are bruised from creeping along the ground holding down the fabric. My palms ache from pushing the pins in the ground. The tips of my fingers hurt from grabbing at the weeds and trying to pry the roots out...

I wore sunscreen so I didn't get burned, but that's about the only misery I'm not feeling. My thighs are sore from the squatting. My shoulders hurt from the tugging. I've been mainlining Ibuprophen for two days.

Where is that feeling of accomplishment? When do I get that feeling of 'job well done'?? I'm guessing it's at the point where I string up my hammock and settle in with a good book. Nothing short of that is going to work for me.

--Sandee Wagner

Chick Flicks

My husband and I have an ongoing guerrilla warfare action against each other with our Blockbuster queue...He goes in and queues up a bunch of action flicks. I go to the website and add a bunch of chick flicks to the list. Then I move all my movies to the top of the list.

The next time he pulls up the queue, he reorganizes the list and moves his picks up to the top. It is an unspoken battle. We never acknowledge what we do, or when we're doing it. But we both do it.

He's a good sport. He'll always watch a Chick Flick with me. He even admits that some of them are good. Yesterday, he sat through a British period piece with me. It had some famous actors, an interesting plot, and all those cool costumes. DH nodded off a couple of times.

Today, he insisted we go to Blockbuster and rent some movies that WE Actually Want To See. I almost snorted tea out of my nose. But I assured him that I had my Blockbuster card and that we can get some more movies this afternoon.

I'm sure there are some car chases, explosions and full frontal nudity in my future. No worries. I'm going online to reorganize my queue.

--Sandee Wagner

Yard Work is Work

We're trying to get the yard back in shape after years of neglect. We paid for some help, but now the final planting and mulching is up to us.

This morning, we put on sunscreen, long sleeves and pants, hats and went out in 'attack mode'. You know you are working hard when you purchase mulch bags by the PALLET.

All I can say is that we bought more than one... and that there are 80 bags per pallet. My back is not thanking me right now. I think we're about halfway done.

But this brings me to my main point: yard work is work.

It's not relaxing. It's not a way to unwind. I don't feel better when I get my fingers into the soil. There's no feeling of freedom or job well done. It's just work. Like housework. It's never done. When you take your eyes off it, it gets messed up again.

I know there are people out there for whom yard work is a labor of love. I'm not that guy... This is hard work. It's sweaty, dirty work.

When we get done with this... there will be more. That's the way it goes. So, no stalling, no excuses. Tomorrow we get this done. Until next week, when it needs doing again.

Movie Reviews

We watched a bad movie last night. A real stinker. One that when we were done watching, we all looked at each other and said, "No wonder that didn't make it big in the theaters!"

Being able to rent videos makes it easy to watch that kind of thing and then Not Feel Bad about the money spent. When you pay a monthly fee for whatever number of movies you get...then get a stinker, it's a small investment. Back when I was renting movies for $6 each, it would have made me crazy.

It's all a matter of degree and money spent. I don't mind stupid movies. Some of my favorite ones could be described as "big stupid fun". I like comedies and slapstick. I don't mind movies where some big strong man is baffled by a couple of kids (ala Kindergarten Cop, The Game Plan) but I don't like the ones where the kids are ascendant and the adults are idiots.

The movie we watched last night will remain unnamed, but there are those who believe that the topic is sacrosanct. I don't believe any movie topic is off limits, but I do think that politically, a production can suffer because of popular beliefs or mores.

Some movies are crummy because of poor acting, some because of a dreadful (or edited to pieces) scripts. Regardless, they end up flopping and someone loses money. Some films go 'straight to video/rental'. These are the ones that baffle me. Some producers fronted the money to MAKE a film. Then, when they see it, they say to themselves, "what a hot mess. Don't release this in the theaters." I know that there is a market for straight to rental productions, and there are people who made millions doing those films (Mary Kate and Ashley, the Olson twins).

The ability to download streaming, or do a 'rent as many as you want' contract makes it so that when you SEE a movie like that, you don't feel ripped off. When you go to the theater, pay $10 or more a ticket, buy popcorn and cokes for a quarter of a million dollars and then sit down to watch a stinker--you feel robbed.

It's all a matter of degree.

--Sandee Wagner

Ahhh.... the drama

Anyone who has a family has some drama.

If you have aging parents, especially those with health issues, then you know the kind I mean.  If you have brothers and sisters all angling for a bit of your time and attention, then you get it.  Some of us have children and grandchildren and want to spend quality time catching up with them.

Then, when you add in the OTHER side of the family into the equation, there is a recipe for hijinx.  We have recently spent time with family members who are facing some inter-family squabbling.  Boy, is it hard not to get sucked into that!  You've gotta hold your tongue and not interject, because they ARE going to reconcile and anything negative you say will be remembered.

My family is driving me crazy.  My brothers and sisters agreed to a family reunion once every 5 years.  Now that it's time for the reunion, everyone is bailing out.  Who gets to tell the folks that no one's coming?  Will it be me?  I just got word that my parents are really looking forward to getting all the family pictures updated (we usually have a photographer at the reunion).  There are not enough families attending to make hiring a photographer feasible.  I don't want to be the one to tell them.

You can be disappointed in your family members.  And you can not LIKE them.  Or not like their actions.  But you've gotta love them.  They are your family after all.  You don't get to pick them.  You only get to love them.

I love my family.  I want to strangle half of them.  But I still love them.

--Sandee Wagner